Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Romantic

E - Everyone

i'm sorry but

by silverquill12

i’m sorry i broke your heart

but remember how much fun we had?

we danced all night each tuesday

i would hold your hand

life was easy

i’m sorry i broke your heart

but it was so vulnerable

you had given it all to me

and left nothing for you

i didn’t trust myself

i let it go

i’m sorry i broke your heart

but you would laugh when i grimaced

you hated things i liked

you always seemed to blame me

(my cat never liked you anyways)

i’m sorry i broke your heart

but i got scared

scared your would hurt me more

scared of what could happen

i didn’t think it would end like this

i’m sorry i broke your heart

but remember

you broke mine first

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
19 Reviews

Points: 1477
Reviews: 19

Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:42 pm
StudentAH wrote a review...

The description honestly threw me for a loop! I can't tell whether this poem is about someone who perhaps is the abuser, or someone who has been abused. I guess... that's what relationships are like? There's no one person to blame.

DISCLAIMER: But I'm looking at this more as a toxic relationship rather than a psychotic abuser (a disclaimer to anyone who is sensitive to the word 'abuse,' because some abuse is relationship abuse, but some can be downright beating and battering a person).

Anyway, moving on to my interpretation and further comments:

This is such an intriguing poem, I just can't figure it out. But perhaps my heart is still raw from my own situation.

The part that sticks out to me the most was this part:

"i’m sorry i broke your heart

but it was so vulnerable

you had given it all to me

and left nothing for you"

Honestly to me, it sounds like what will typically happen in relationships with a power dynamic. Its easy to break someone's heart and go too far and hurt them if they don't stand for themselves at all. Many people fall into the pit of giving all of themselves to a person and leaving none of it for themselves. There's a proper way to be vulnerable, by truly trusting another person to meet you in the middle and share. And then there's the improper way: flinging yourself at their feet. I almost feel like the party responsible for hurting the other person is an abuser, but almost couldn't help themselves because the situation was right there.

I have been in both shoes: Accidentally stepping on someone and becoming desensitized to how much I could have possibly been abusing them just because they LET me, and vice versa: being the one who is giving the other everything only to be abused.

The abusing party is still responsible, though, hence the apology in the letter/poem.

I found it interesting that they said "Remember, you broke mine first." Often abusers will go out of control because someone broke their heart and they never learned the proper way to address those emotions, so they go haywire and create toxicity.

This poem was pretty great, in that it covered a very interesting topic that resonated with me. However, I found that it could have been 'beautified' a little more with rhyming and more rhythm.

User avatar
8 Reviews

Points: 200
Reviews: 8

Tue Mar 24, 2020 4:26 am
theescaper020 says...

I loved your idea that describes the memorable moments wit our soulmate and realization about one's mistake and the best part is accepting the mistakes. I will look forward to your future writings. The last line is killer.

Random avatar

Points: 8
Reviews: 10

Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:58 am
EvaR14 wrote a review...

I love this poem - it is great at expressing emotions. The lowercase letters and lack of punctuation make it seem more genuine and real. I love how the poem focuses on both the negative and positive aspects of the relationship, and explains why the speaker left the relationship. It shows a quite realistic view of what relationships with some people can be like: one moment declaring that "life is easy", the next realising that they don't care that you're in pain and are willing to let you suffer for their own benefit.

I like how it first focuses on the positive experiences: "we danced all night each Tuesday | I would hold your hand", then progressively grows more negative and focuses on the flaws of the love interest: "you would laugh when i grimaced | you hated things I liked".

This was really touching, well done :)

User avatar
124 Reviews

Points: 0
Reviews: 124

Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:11 am
JesseWrites says...

This is a great poem. There was contrasts that made it better. I enjoyed reading this! The lowercase letters give a touch of originality. There was good things, but the poem showed the bad also. I liked that.

I felt all the things you wrote.
Keep it up!

User avatar
29 Reviews

Points: 415
Reviews: 29

Mon Mar 23, 2020 9:14 pm
View Likes
Lia5Giba wrote a review...

Hello! Beautiful poem! Amazing! I know where this is from, by the way. :D It is a beautiful original work. I love how you used lowercase letters. It makes the words almost sound more emotional, more raw. Even without your punctuation, your poem is still emotional. As I read through, I could see the goods and bads of the relationship. How you had moments of carefree-ness, and how yet at the same time her hurt you without even knowing how. And so she (I'm assuming the narrator's a she, seeing as you are a she, as I believe the last time we checked you were) left him, not wanting to live with all the bads, despite the goods. I read poetry for the emotion, and I felt it here. I felt it in teardrops on rose petals mixing with fresh dew, and barefoot feet on an open morning lawn, and long nights hugging a pillow, eyes still wet.

Just... good job.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
— Mark Twain