My Melancholy

HI IVERLADY. this poem is an reflective poem which actually reflcts one's changes and stone harted ness. IN THE NARRATION I FOUND THAT TE LADY CANNOT Boldly accept the fact that she had turned into a shelfish human. this act of reluctant approach to her stonyattitude sugests that she still is enough good to differentiate between good or bad. She still has a soft corner yet to be discovered herseilf.then nourish his part of her character to be a goo humanbeing. tihs could be enlongated then the readers could have enjoyed or regreatted as they wish to response to the melancholy.

Hey silver lady.

This piece is really good. It really struck a chord with me. I feel like that voice in my head that tells me that I'm not good enough is captured in the bleeding red paint. I could really see emotion in this. The poem was also good and flowed nicely.

Good job!

Hi silverlady!

I have to admit I'm totally a sucker for combining art and writing of any kind, but especially poetry. So I really enjoyed getting to see this!

I agree with RedVines, in a way, about the use of soul twice in the accompanying poem. I think my problem comes with the word soul being used once and then immediately again in the following line, making it come out awkwardly. The second use of soul is really strong, and has such a nice image to it, it's a shame for it to be shadowed by the first use of soul directly before it. Perhaps there's a way to rework it so that the first use of soul happens a few lines earlier?

As far as the art piece goes, I also find the use of brush strokes and color blending really effective. And I like the way the words contrast in color with the background, and how they're not uniform in clarity or thickness of letter. I wonder what would happen if you tried layering some of the words under the background and gave a piece like this a sense of dimension? Something like that might play well off of the idea in the poem that she speaker has come through something, that she has become stone in the face of all these harmful words hurled at her, but that they were still there visible beneath the surface and continuing to shape her.

This is such a cool concept, I hope you continue to play with pairing poetry with physical art! Great job, and thanks so much for sharing!

-Lauren-

Hey, great job! I can really feel your emotion in your artwork. The rough brushstrokes and blood colored words show your pain well, good artistic choices. Your poem captures melancholy well, but there's some things you might want to consider changing. You say soul twice in a short poem, so changing the word would get rid of the repetitiveness. Also rhyming come with become is one of my pet peeves but there's no other word that would fit there so it's fine. "Her soul so empty, her heart turned to stone" really resonates with me. i think that's your strongest line.

Great work, keep writing and painting!