Published July 18, 2026
i am still stuck, in this garden of memory,
yearning to be yours / longing to be loved,
rooted into your skin like a parasite.
you know that i am a heliotrope,
coming in each time with rapid succession,
season in / season out,
i have seen myself wilt and grow again & again,
& again & again, with each sowing and reaping,
i still do not realize that it is you who kills me.
you cut my buds before they bloom,
bottle all the pollen i release,
& you rest easy,
knowing that i have only bloomed for you,
only fructified for you, have only known your hands,
your light, your love.
i know to be grateful for adoration,
& i will tell myself that
it is enough
it is enough
it is enough.
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Hi! I really loved the imagery in this poem. The comparison of the speaker to a heliotrope makes the emotions feel clear. The same thing goes for the garden imagery carried throughout the poem.
My favorite lines were:
and
repeated at the end. They had big impacts without being overly done. I suggest looking at the line:
It reads a bit awkwardly - rephrasing it slightly could help make it flow more naturally. This poem has a silent, heartbreaking quality, and the ending is memorable.
Hey there! Welcome to YWS; always happy to see a new poet on the site! You've got some great metaphors in here - and the repetition of "& again" as well as "it is enough" build the drama and intensity of the poem.
The line "you cut my buds before they bloom" -- oof! the poem seems to portray some sort of very toxic relationship.
I hope to read more of your work in the future! This was an enjoyable read!
~ A
Hello! I really enjoyed this poem. I especially love the turn in
I do have a few notes that may help while you’re editing -> for one, the opening lines are strong, but "yearning to be yours / longing to be loved" feels a little repetitive since both phrases communicate the same desire. You could play around with making one side of the slash more specific, especially because the following parasite image is so vivid.
I also really like the heliotrope metaphor, but "coming in each time with rapid succession" feels a little awkward in comparison to the organic language throughout the rest of the poem. You could simplify this moment OR let the seasonal repetition carry the idea:
or even just
The repetition of "again & again" works for me because it gives the narrator's suffering a cyclical quality, but I wonder if you need both instances of it. Breaking the repetition across stanzas draws attention to it, though it also slows down the movement toward the revelation that follows. You might want to experiment with condensing that stanza and seeing whether the realization is more impactful when it arrives sooner in the poem.
And - not sure about "your light, your love" since it is revealed that this person’s love is harmful, so ending the sequence on "love" softens that. What does that look like in human terms - is the "you" dismissive, jealous, controlling, emotionally withholding, possessive, etc?
All the best!