I don't have an internal G.P.S. I am sorry to say,
But if you ask again where my twin is,
You will be sure to pay.
this is a short count poem i wrote because people always expect me to always know where my twin is all the time and no matter how i try to explain that each of us is our own different person there is no piont in doing so.
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Hey there, Subtle here for a review. I think you started out with a good and unique idea in mind there. But this is too short, and short poems though they can be effective are very risky poems to write, because you have to convey so much in such little space.
I can see potential in this poem, because the first line was actually quite good. The second line was alright, but the third line just completely put me off. I'm sorry if I am being too harsh, but it is far too abrupt. It just cuts off so much and just leaves the readers wondering, 'what happened' ?
All in all, I think you should extend this poem, because it could be an amazing poem. I hope I heled, and I'm sorry if I was being too harsh.
-S.s
no, you weren't harsh you were honest and i appreciate honesty thanks will put it into consideration for the future.
Hi there,
I actually think this could have a lot of potential, because it's an idea I haven't really thought about before. People write about the idea of twins being always connected and in synch with each other, but sometimes they just aren't and people are often ignorant to that. So well done, it's a nice original idea, I like it.
As for the actually poem, I would consider extending it. I'm also not sure it should be 'But' but rather 'And' because you're not disagreeing with your idea, you're extending on it, if that makes sense.
Anyway, again, nice and original idea in a short and sweet few lines. It's got some good potential so deffo keep writing.
Well done and thanks for posting,
H.L.P
thanks for the review
Hey there! Here to review.
I'm not sure how I feel about this poem. It just felt very abrupt. I think I would like it more if you wrote a couple more verses or so? I would suggest maybe writing a couple more verses, instead of just writing the explanation at the end of the poem. Maybe work the meaning into the poem itself, so that we can understand it through the actual work itself?
I think you have a great start here.
Good luck! Thanks for writing!
thanks for taking the time to review. i get what you mean by suggesting i add a few verses but short count poems tend to be less than 20 words. i admit that i need some practice though. thanks again.
Lol, short and sweet and sassy. I like that you explained the meaning behind it, otherwise I wouldn't have a clue. There's not much to say about the poem, sine it's all explained here, but I have no complaints.
Some people just don't have a clue.... I'm probably one of them
Thank you sherineahmed!
thank you for this review and the other reviews as well. i appreciate it.