Published May 4, 2011
The hardest battle to win
are the ones , when you feel
heartless towards your family and friends.
The coldest nights are the ones ,
when you feel you lost the most brutal fight.
You feel the darkest pain,
as if you were bleeding with rusty tears.
You have most furious look on the most fearless face
as if you felt somewhere out of place.
Insanity becomes a vision in your cruel eyes
as if you felt emotionless,with no sorrow.
You feel bloody hatred with no regrets
as if you felt anger with the darkest passion.
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141,299 Literary Works • 674,335 Reviews
Hi! First of all, loved this title. Very intruging. I liked the wording of your poem and the description therein. The flow was nice and paced. Gramatically though, there were quite a few mistakes. The others have pointed them out to you so there's not much point me reiterating them. All-in-all, this was a decent poem. Well-done. Keep writing!
~ Amelia
You already used this word in the first stanza, so how about a different adjective?
All in all, this was an alright poem -it just needs some touching up and then you'll be good to go!
Hi.
I was drawn to this by the compelling title. I enjoyed reading this poem.
A few unnecessary commas and a typo, but a promising first stanza.
"Most" was redundant, and furious was misspelled. "somehwere" is one word.
I would suggest a different adjective than "brutal" since you already used it. And you closed the poem so well.
A good poem. A little choppy while reading, but there's definitely feeling. I hope this was a helpful review. PM me with any questions if you have them.