Last chance,
Yet fate said otherwise,
My imagined scenarios and plans not so wise,
Execution failed,
But I wasnt dismayed,
I had hope.
Never knew you existed,
Now I can't ignore you,
Looking for you, hoping it's true.
Our frequency matched out of the blue,
Creating a resonance between us two.
If it had to happen, why so late?
You know, fate, i hate to wait.
You pushed us together, yet in vain.
On the last day my hope drains.
We'll never see each other again,
And i sure do hope you'll never forget,
Those subtle glances,
Or the touches during our dances,
I hope you felt what I did,
A good bye is really not what I wanted to bid.
I betted my heart on you,
Just for us two,
But it was never meant to be,
You had someone in your heart already,
I'm not one to plead.
But I had hope, I had greed.
Maybe we could run away, be free.
But you're happy with her.
With her as your focus I'm just a blur.
I gave up hope, i won't be lured.
Now I'm sure, it'll never work.
Maybe in another life Z,
Maybe I'll stop thinking about you in bed,
Maybe I'll stop dreaming about you in my head,
Only in my dreams do we talk but even then you said,
"I love her, she's the most beautiful girl in the world" and that rendered me dead.
Even in my dreams you reject me, I can't deny it anymore
So ruthlessly my heart you tore!
I know you like poems in secret,
So I wrote you a poem you'd never see,
It's about something we'll never be,
Its disappointing to leave,
You really did make me believe,
That being together someday is something we could achieve.
I was too ambitious, now I feel decieved.
I hope you're happy with what you recieved.
I do hope you miss me,
I hope little things in life bring you back to me
I hope we do, yet we could n
ever be.
I hope when you look at her, you think of me.
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142,048 Literary Works • 676,454 Reviews
Hello! welcome to the mighty brighty site of YWS!!!!
Here to leave a quick review!
It's interesting how you start with a line like this off the bat. Not sure how I personally feel about it, but it definitely immediately sets the context for this poem, so that's nice
Oooooh this metaphor-like figurative part about sound waves(?) is very creative!
I love how you tried to implement a consistent-ish rhyme scheme throughout the poem! The only thing is that in a few places, the placement of line breaks doesn't let the poem flow well while letting the rhyming stay as intended. So for that purpose a few adjustments could probably be beneficial, for example maybe this second line could be something like " 'Goodbye', not quite what I wanted to bid". Even the reduction of a few syllables by removing articles
helps it flow better and also gives it that non-prose characteristic of poetry....if that makes sense hehhe
This line is quite moving and it seems very creative for you to come up with this! I myself also a bit of a hopeless romantic/crusher always fantasize the best possible scenarios wherein my crush does return my love, but the speaker cannot even relish in pretending their love is returned in their dreams!
Overall great poem and keep writing, God bless! <3 And I hope in the future you're given someone who is worthy of your love if this is an experience you went through!
Way to make this relatable 😭✌️
I love how the narrator wrote out their pain and displayed it so effortlessly in a rhyme formed poem.
I personally adore this style of poems and the structure you put it is so satisfying.
This paragraph ripped my heart out especially 💔You just feel it and if you've been through an experience like what this narrator describes in the poem you feel the aching pain aswell.
A+++ My dude, if you need to talk to anyone because this happened to you hit me up