Published June 5, 2011
The clouds are hovering the sky,
Covering the light!
Now It's dark, but I'm here.
Don't cry.
Summer's almost over.
Ain't that good?
Blessings come on rainy days.
We just have to discover.
Together we'll play in the rain.
We'll forget the pain.
When the waters drained
sprouting blessings will happen.
We'll see the light again.
We just have to believe.
Don't get disappointed so sudden.
Believe! Good things will happen.
There's no reason to be frown.
Rain can't make you drown...
Cause I'm here.
I won't let you down.
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141,636 Literary Works • 675,287 Reviews
i agree with ignatius u had me pretty confused on a couple of things in ur poem, but keep writing!
I couldn't get what you were saying, it seemed topically you were jumping all over the place. And you mixed up "here" and "hear" and you pluralized "water" Keep Writing!
Hello there
I think you confused your seasons over here because as this went on you said,
How can things sprout when summer is almost over? I don't know, correct me if I'm wrong.
Aside from the nitpicks, your poem is actually not that bad. I mean I appreciate the fact that you linked rain with good luck or the fact that it washes 'problems' away. That's a common belief. And you also had a nice reassuring tone. However, I kind of feel you missed the mark in the emotions department. As I read this through, there was no oomph! so to speak. It was too light and your ideas really did not connect all that well. I feel that what you have here needs a little tweaking to make it a brilliant poem instead of just a cliche. Don't get me wrong, you had some really good lines like,
but they were overshadowed by the flaws I mentioned.
I hope I could help a little.
Keep writing and good luck!