A dreame

Hey Secret!

First I'll just say welcome to YWS seeings as you are quite new here

Anyway onto your poem. I liked it especially this line:

a dream of a place where we all hold hands

I love this line because it's often what I dream about, a world where everyone gets along happily. But anyway, there were places in the poem where I wasn't sure what you meant particularly in the first part of the poem. I think you could be clearer in the way you put across what you are trying to say especially because you don't have a rhyme scheme or regular rhythm to restrict you

You could also make it clearer by adding punctuation. Although it's a poem punctuation is needed so that the reader knows where to breathe Otherwise we think that we have to read it with no pauses! Pauses can also be used for dramatic effect

I loved the ideas behing your poem though It reminded me of John Lennons song imagine You could also expand if you wanted to on these ideas because there is a lot of scope for imagination on this kind of topic.

Oh and I noticed a little typo in the title you put

a dreame

Anyway overall I thought you did a good job and I enjoyed reading so thank you
Keep Writing,
Lydia