Published January 31, 2006
If I were in a race
If I were to run so fast that all the colors became stirred
If all the baby blues seem to fuse
I will forget the spoken word
But I won’t forget the way it hit
When you told me “Baby, this is all there is.”
Last night I was in the backseat
And you were just driving humming with this song on repeat
Then you reached back for my little hands and held them close
Because this is a love that no one knows
All the lines and creases in our palms aligned
When you told me “Baby, this is all there is”
Our love is like a plotline
We know what’s going to happen but we don’t want to say it yet
No not yet.
Because this is a love that no one knows
Because this is a love that no one knows
And this is a love that I chose
We’ll watch each other grow.
I won’t forget the way it hit
When you told me “Baby, you are all there is.”
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I want to know what you thought I was talking about, what you thought of the song, how it touched you if it did at all. I really love feedback, bad, good, anything. Anything to help me with my progress as a writer. So whatever you think, I want to hear it. 
Thanks.
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141,254 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
Nice and simple.Good job
this wasn't "BEAUTIFUL", but the rhythm and the meaning was .so.good. that it transformed the poem into amazing. no critiques - maybe your lines are too long? otherwise, beautiful.
Hey! You already posted this in song lyrics! Nice work again.
For some reason, this song really, well, "hit" me, lol. I love it, particularly the last line. Excellent delivery. The only bit that irks me a little is the first few lines, which dont really seem to fit. Not just within the context of the song (which doesnt always have to make sense, I suppose) but the lines themselves; i.e. some of the wording seems a bit forced. "became stirred" I think is what is bothering me. Perhaps you could think about rewording that somehow? Otherwise, its fantastic. I can just imagine it set to music
My favourite line: "Baby, you are all there is."
Kudos!
If this is intended as pessimistic (though I suspect you are referring to something else), you're an ace writer in my book. Otherwise I do like the line which the name is devoted to - simple and romantic.