Published October 2, 2011
Fire in the eyes
Blood of our hands
Once our gun is raised, it's a call for war
Soldiers of eternity
(This is what we are)
Fighting for the war of nonsense and trash
Guided by hatred, death is our friend
Our savage souls is not to be forgave
We all doomed
There is no way back
Leave the nice words cause you've got to fight back
Kill is what we've learned,
As children of war
We grew up back then with murder and scars
Soldiers of eternity
(This is what we are)
Fighting for the war of nonsense and trash
Guided by hatred, death is our friend
Our savage souls cannot be forgave
Fear in our eyes
We're waving our flag
Everything we've done is nothing but scum
Forget the enemies, there is no more
We just want some peace for our children to grow
But…
We're the soldiers of eternity
(Yeah, we really are)
Fighting for the war of nonsense and trash
Guided by hatred, we're Devil's best friends
Cut off this chain of revenge,
And let us stop
Let us stop
Let us stop
Let us….
Soldiers of eternity
(Let us stop)
Fighting for the war of nonsense and trash
(Let us stop), (let us stop), (let us stop)
Guided by hatred
(Let us stop)
We're Devil's best friend
(Let us stop)
Cut off this chain of revenge,
(Let us stop), (let us stop)
AND LET US STOP
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This line doesn't make sense. The proper tense is "forgiven", but even correcting that, it's just weird-sounding. I'd suggest rewording entirely. "Our savage souls, no one forgave" flows nicely and makes much more sense.
Missing an "are" there.
"Kill" is a verb, an action. "Killing" is the noun, or thing that can be done/learned.
There are more similar errors, but I'm not going to point them all out. I will say that, grammatical issues aside, you have a pretty solid rhythm here, and that really carries the words nicely. I just wish the words made more sense, really.
thanks, i fixed the grammar miskates.
you know, I knew that I'm mistaken, but I wrote it like that because it just fit it quite good rhithemly. But I guess that "Grammatically extremely weird" is not much help, is it?
Hey SC,
First you aren't clear on what you are talking about. Two these are lyrics, and go in the lyric section, and three you have some mistakes.
gun of me? Grammatically extremely weird.
Cause
Just you need more work on this.
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/forum41.html
PM me or post on my wall if you have any questions!
-Boo