Begin again (here is what i have so far) by Savannah Olivetti

Chapter 1

I was at a party with Eli, it wasn’t the kind of thing that i usually did but then again i did a lot of things that I never thought i would do when i was with Eli. Over the two years that we had been together, I experienced a number of firsts with him. He was my first kiss, he gave me my first taste of alcohol, my first (and only cigarette), he was my first reason for swearing, and for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful. Last Summer, on July thirteenth, my eighteenth birthday, Eli became my first…. The experience was perfect. We were in his apartment that his parents bought for him when he graduated high school three years ago. I was thrilled to be alone with him, He started kissing me in a way that he had never kissed me before, it was full of adoration and intensity. He kissed down my neck and i sighed, before long, clothes were off and he caressed every inch of my body with his lips, tongue and hands, it was unlike anything I had ever felt before. He told me he loved me over and over again and promised that we were going to get married as soon as i graduated high school. I believed him, I believed in us, that we had that future. He was everything to me. Nothing else in this world mattered to me. My mother and friends didn’t approve of my relationship with Eli but i told them that there was nothing that they could do to keep me from him. Eventually my friends decided they didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. That gave me more time to spend with Eli. I grew tired of going to school so i decided to ditch and hang out with Eli, what was the point? i didn’t have any friends. But after a month of ditching class, the school called and wanted to know why i wasn’t coming to school, and told her that if i didn’t start coming, i would lose my scholarship. My mom told me that she didn’t want me spending anymore time with Eli. I made it very clear to her that that wasn’t happening. Before i left the house, I told her that I wasn’t going to see Eli tonight, so I guess that was just another lie to my mom. I planned on telling her that i was just at the library, a place that i used to go to all the time. I didn’t know if she would believe it or not but i didn’t really care. She didn’t understand how important Eli was to me, she didn't care.

The party was wild and crazy and exhilarating. Eli and i danced and kissed quite a bit. I told Eli that I was thirsty and he brought me some punch. I think that the punch must have been spiked because I immediately felt woozy. Eli could tell that i wasn’t in the mood to party, he made sure that i was okay. I tried to tell Eli that I needed to go home and he told me he would, He walked me to a bathroom and then i laid down on the floor and fell asleep. When I woke up, I felt better but I knew that I was still drugged up. I needed to find Eli and tell him that i wanted to go home. It was clear that he never really had any intention of brining me home. The party was still going on, there was no sign of Eli anywhere. I eventually found him, he was wrapped up in the arms of another girl, he clearly wasn’t wondering where i was. I thought back on all of the times that my mom and my friends all warned me that something like this would happen, they were all right but i couldn’t see it because I honestly believed that he loved me like i love him. I gave up so much for him. I gave up my friends, I gave up my virginity, I dyed my strawberry blonde hair aqua blue, something that I knew would damage it, but I did it because Eli told me that i would look sexy. I changed my name from Alison to Austin because Eli said that it sounded edgier. I hated Eli, but not as much as i hated myself for being such an idiot. He never loved me. I could finally see that now. I had to get out of here, I didn’t want to call my mom but I didn’t really have much choice. I found my way out of the building, which now smelled of cigarette smoke and betrayal. I walked to the only place that I wanted to be right now, my former best friend Stephen’s house. He was the only person who didn't completely hate me for staying with Eli. We hadn’t really talked in two months but that was all to do with me, I chose Eli over him but even then he told me that he would be there for me when things ended I walked quite a distance but I finally got to his house. I knocked on the door, hoping that Stephen didn’t change his mind and decided that she hated me. Stephen answered the door, his expression was both surprised and then expectant.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Eli-“

He stepped back and gestured for me to come in.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

I shrugged and then nodded.

I told him everything. He didn’t look at me like I was an idiot or say I told you so or anything like that, he just pulled me into his arms and held me. He always did this when I felt sad, the last time he did this was the time i couldn't go to our middle school father dance because i didn't have a father. That had been so painful and i felt so broken. I felt broken now, although it didn’t feel like my heart was the only thing that Eli broke, it felt like he broke everything inside me.

“I’m so sorry, Stephen. I’m sorry for just everything” i sobbed.

“I forgive you” he said.

“How?”

“I knew that you would wake up eventually. I just hoped that you’d wake up before he broke your hurt like this.” he said. ‘

“I’m so glad that i have you” i whispered.

“I’m glad that i still have you, too”

His words had a double meaning. He was glad that i wasn’t seriously hurt, that i was still alive.

“I’m sorry” i whispered again.

We spent the rest of the night talking, there was so much that we had to catch up on in our friendship. But in truth, there was so much that I had to catch up on in my life in general. I used to care about my grades, and theater, and i used to read all the time. I wanted to be my old self again and I figured that holding on to the one friend I had left was the key.

“Could you catch me up on what’s going on with Daniele and Mercury? I kind of have a feeling that they won’t be as willing to be my friend again.”

“I have a feeling that you’re right about that. But Danielle has a boyfriend and Mercury moved to a new school.”

“Really? well, do you know if Mercury likes it there?”

“We had a fall out and she has new friends now. I saw her at the movies last week, she has a boyfriend now too. So i guess she’s happy.”

“So Danielle has a boyfriend now? what’s he like?”

“Um, he’s older than she is. But i guess he’s pretty great. She spends all of her time with him. She feels betrayed by me because I don’t hate you like she does.”

“And Mercury feels the same way” I whispered.

“Yes” He said.

“You shouldn’t have done that for me”

“It’s no big deal, i never really liked them that much anyway.” he shrugged. I knew he was lying.

“I’m not worth it.” I told him.

“Believe it or not, you’re wrong” he said.

I didn’t say it out loud but I strongly disagreed with him. He had been a better friend to me than i deserved.

“You look exhausted” he said.

I nodded, it was really hitting me now.

“Come on hon, let’s get you in bed”

He took my hand and lead me to his room.

“You can sleep in here, I’ll sleep on the couch”

“But it’s your room, you should sleep here”

“It’s no big deal. You’d do it for me” he shrugged.

“I would” i agreed.

“Well, goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning” he shut the door.

I couldn’t help but feel guilty. I abandoned him, but he hadn’t abandoned me and lost his friends because of his loyalty. Along with the guilt, there was also the pain from the memory of seeing Eli kissing that other girl. I would never be able to forget that, no matter how hard i tried. All of that running through my mind made it difficult to go to sleep. But eventually, i dozed off, hoping that everything would be okay again. That i would be okay, again.

The next morning i had a severe hangover, Stephen gave me aspirin and i thanked him. I made a promise to myself that i would never drink another drop of alcohol for as long as i lived. I hated the side-effects.

“So, are you going to call your mom? Let her know that you’re at my house? It’ll keep you out of more trouble.” he said.

“I am going to call her but i’m going to tell her the truth. Honesty is always the best policy.”

“How much trouble do you think you’ll be in?”

“I have no idea” i breathed.

“Are you going to call Eli? tell him that it’s over?”

“I doubt he’ll even care.” i hoped he would.

Right on cue, my phone rang, it was Eli.

“Should i answer it?”

“It’s up to you”

I nodded and pressed send.

“Hello?”

“Austin? where are you? oh my God i thought that something had happened to you.” why was he acting like he cared so much about something happening to me now?

“I’m okay. i’m at a friends house.” i told him.

“I was so worried about you last night, you were really sick.” Was he for real?

“Yeah, well you didn’t look so worried when you were kissing that girl last night” i said coldly.

“Oh, Austin, that was a mistake. I’m really sorry.”

“I am too” i said.

“Let’s just pretend that it never happened. Okay? We can just move on from this.”

“I really don’t think that’s possible.”

“Why not?” he demanded sharply.

“You know why” i told him.

“I said i was sorry.” he growled.

“I know but that’s not enough to fix it.”

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t embarrassed me like you did it wouldn’t have happened in the first place!”

Was he serious?!!!!!!!!! I felt like screaming and then crying.

“Don’t try to blame me here, Eli. you gave me that stupid punch, probably knowing it was spiked, and when i asked you to go home you just left me alone in a bathroom and you were with another girl when I woke up. You didn’t care where I was.”

“I’m sorry, Alison.” he whispered.

He wasn’t even trying to deny it. This was a first for him. It only made it worse.

“It’s Alison, my name is Alison, not Austin” I snapped.

“I love you” he whispered again.

“I wish i could believe you.”

I hung up on him and blocked his number on my phone.

I looked up at Stephen, who gave me a sympathetic smile.

“You handled that really well” he told me.

“Yeah but i don’t think he handled it very well. He went from being all concerned to practically yelling at me in the same second. He never treated me like that before. He was always sweet but i guess that was just a pretense.”

“It doesn’t matter if he handled well or not. He doesn’t deserve you, and you deserve better.” he said firmly.

My phone rang again, It was my mom this time. Aw crap.

I pressed send.

“Hey mom”

“Honey, where are you?” Her voice was all panicky.

“I’m at Stephen’s house.”

“Ok so you’re not with Eli?”

“No,I’m not. Mom, what’s going on?”

“There were a bunch of teenagers who got caught doing drugs at some party last night. I know that Eli does drugs so i was worried sick about you.”

“I told you that I went to the library” i reminded her.

“Yes, but i know that’s just what you wanted me to believe. You’re not the best liar.”

“You’re not mad that I lied to you?” I was confused and relived at the same time.

“Well, yeah i was at first but I figured that you wouldn’t do anything stupid. Even under Eli’s influence.” she explained.

“Well, i’m not under his influence anymore. I broke up with him.” At least i could say that I broke up with him and not he broke up with me, that would just make people feel sorry for me. I didn’t want that.

“Oh honey, i’m so sorry. I know you were very fond of him” That wasn’t how i thought she would react at all. I knew she hated Eli, she made no attempt of hiding it in the past.

“I thought you’d be glad”

“I mean, yes, i am more than a little relieved that you came to your senses but i would never be glad about something that caused you pain”

I didn’t quite know what to say.

“Why aren’t you telling me i told you so?”

“Because that’s the same thing my parents told me after things ended with your father.” she said.

I only had vague memories of my father, he left when I was four and never came back. But from what my mother had told me, he was the kind of guy who could light up an entire room with his personality. He made her feel like she was his entire world, at least when they were around a crowd, but when they were alone, he treated her like she was nothing to him and would run off to drink and wouldn’t come back till the next morning. I never wanted to see him again, I never wanted my mom to be around him ever again. I realized that Eli was exactly like my dad, he treated me like I was his everything but then showed me that I didn’t really mean anything to him last night.

“I don’t know how to get back to normal” I whispered.

“Austin, we’re going to get through this. I promise. “

“It’s Alison, mom, It’s not Austin. It was stupid of me to change my name.”

“I do prefer Alison” she agreed.

“I love you, mom”

“I love you too” she said.

“I’ll be home soon”

“Okay, sweetheart”

We hung up.

“She didn’t sound mad” Stephen said.

“She’s not mad, not at all. She was just relieved that i’m okay, it made me feel so guilty”

“That’s what mothers are supposed to do” he laughed.

“Yeah, I guess. But that’s not why i feel guilty, i feel guilty because she was sorry that i was in pain and she was just worried that i had gotten caught up in whatever mayhem happened at that stupid party last night.”

“What happened?”

“Cops came and busted the party, apparently drugs were involved”

“Did you take any?”

“No, of course not. But someone spiked the punch and I felt like hell.” i explained.

“You look like it too” he teased.

I rolled my eyes, it was so typical of Stephen to make a joke at my expense. We broke out into laughter. My laughter turned to sobbing. Stephen put his arms around me again.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered.

“Nothing-“ “It’s just-that was the first time that i have laughed in so long-“ i said in-between sobbing.

Sure, Eli made me feel beautiful but there were times he also made me feel miserable. He never made me laugh, he only made me cry. But even after what he did, i still loved him. He completely me messed up.

“I know that it seems impossible, after being in this kind of relationship, but i know that you can put yourself back together and be happy again.” he told me.

“I would really love that.” i whispered.

“Do you mind if i ask you something? It’s a little personal.”

“Go ahead”

“Are you still…you know…” he gestured.

“Not since last summer” i couldn’t look at him. I felt so disgusting.

“Kind of figured”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s just i kind of always had Eli pegged as the type of guy who is really pushy with girls.” he explained.

“It’s pointless to call someone pushy if you give in to everything they want.” i muttered.

He didn’t say anything, i was relieved.

“Do you want to go home?”

I nodded.

“Let’s go”

“I can walk”

“Are you kidding? i’m not letting you out of my sight until i know that you’re safe and at home. You were in terrible shape last night. You’re not walking home.” he said firmly.

I didn't argue, he was absolutely right.

We got in his blue Toyota truck and drove to my house. It would’ve been a longer than i realized, i was grateful for the ride. He pulled up to the curb.

“You wanna come in?” i asked.

“I would but I have play rehearsal in 20 minuets.” he said.

“What play is it”

“Les Miserables. I’m Marius” he smiled.

“That’s great” i said halfheartedly.

“What’s wrong?”

“I haven’t been in a play in the longest time, I really miss it.” i sighed.

“There’s always next time” he said.

Yes, there was always next time but it was killing me that i wasn’t in this one. I loved Les Miserables. “You could have been in the play but you aren’t, and who’s fault is that?”

a voice inside my head asked. I wanted to tell it to shut up. It was hard enough for me.

“Yeah, i guess. Well, thanks for the ride and last night. I really am glad that we’re still friends” i told Stephen.

“Anytime. Anything. and i’m glad we’re still friends too. But-.” he said.

“But what?”

“I know that you’re hurting and have so much to deal with, but i just wanted you to know that i want to be more than just friends. I’ve felt like this for a long time. You don't have to say yes or no right away.”

Before i could even process what he was saying, his lips were on mine and i kissed him back in surprise. I pulled away. “Stephen..”

“You don’t have to say yes or no right away, just take all the time you need. I just had to tell you how i feel.”

“See you a school tomorrow” i said as i got out of his car.

He drove off. What just happened?

I turned around and walked to the front door, i pulled out the key that i kept in my pocket.

“Mom, i’m home” i called when i walked inside.

“I’m in the living room!” she called.

She was reading a book but looked up and smiled at me but i could tell that she was still worried about me.

“Hey sweetie’ she said.

“Hi”

“How are you?”

“Could be better”

“It’ll get easier, Alison, i promise”

“I’m sorry mom, i’m sorry that i ditched school and lied to you and-“

“You’re forgiven, Alison. You made a few mistakes, but everybody makes mistakes.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“So you’re reconnected with Stephen?”

“I think so”

“That’s nice, i’ve always liked him. It’ll make going to school easier”

“I’m not sure about that. Danielle and Mercury hate me and they also hate Stephen for choosing to still be my friend.”

“Well, friends come and go. It’s hard to find life long friends, but it sounds like Stephen is a life long friend.”

Stephen was a life long friend, but i always believed that what i had with Eli would also last a lifetime.

I could feel my mom scrutinizing my face, and i knew what she saw there.

“You need to stop thinking about him, Alison.”

“I’m trying, i really am.”

“You need to find a distraction”

“I’m going to school tomorrow, so that’ll be a good enough distraction”

“Are you sure you’re ready to go to school?

“Not entirely, but i’ve missed enough school as it is and i need to catch up.”

“It’ll be hard but i know that you can do it.”

“I’m surprised that i wasn’t expelled like they threatened.”

“It took a lot of pleading but i finally convinced them that they should consider another type of punishment. Due to your low grade point average, you will not be allowed to participate in the school’s musical and you will go to tutoring sessions before and after school until you’re caught up in all of your subjects.”

“I’d rather be expelled.”

“I think that’s more than fair, Alison. Besides, there’s always senior year to participate in theater.”

“Yeah i guess.”

It was February now, i had wasted away the first semester of my junior year, and it looked like if i didn’t bring up my pitifully low grades, i would never get into a decent college. My future was what i needed to focus on now.

I went upstairs to my room and glanced at my reflection in the mirror, i didn’t recognize the girl i saw in the reflection. It wasn’t just the blue hair or her clothes. Her face looked so sad…so broken. Lost. I didn’t want to be this girl anymore, i wanted to be happy again. I knew that the only was to do that was to start fresh. First things first, i had to somehow undo the blue hair and return to my strawberry blonde color. I got on the phone and called Charlie, my hairdresser, she picked up on the first ring.

“Alison darling! How are you?” she was always so cheerful, it was what i loved about her.

“Could be better.” i sighed.

“Yes, i heard about what happened. Boys are nothing but trouble, which is why i’m glad i swing the other way.”

“Well, maybe i should too” i laughed halfheartedly.

“Oh darling, don’t be ridiculous! You are perfect just the way you are! Except of course for that dreadful blue hair of yours, i mean, really, what were you thinking love?”

“Well that’s what i was calling about, i want to go back to my normal hair color, i hate the blue hair too.”

“Oh thank the heavens you’ve come to your senses! I’ll put you down for tomorrow, say four?”

“Sounds perfect”

“Fantastic! See you then, my dear!”

I hung up and decided that it was time to create a new blog. I deleted my old blog after Eli found it, he criticized everything that i wrote, and convinced me to stop because my writing was horrible and i wasn’t going anywhere with it. I don’t know why i ever listened to anything he said, why i let him control me like that. It was unhealthy. It was pathetic.

I registered for a new domain, which took a little time, then took a deep breath and began writing…..

AliGirl1989 Date: March 13th, 2015

So, It’s been a while since i’ve written anything, i let a stupid, egotistical, controlling guy discourage me from writing, but fear not, he is no longer a part of my life. It feels so great to be able to get back to blogging. But you know the worst part? even after what he did, i still love him and i hate him for that. I know that he never did love me, only himself. But through this experience, I’ve learned a few very important lessons recently, if someone loves you, they won’t try to change you, they won’t put down your dreams, they won’t make you want to cry when you deserve to smile. Most importantly, they won’t ever drug you and then leave you alone to cheat on you with some random girl. That’s not love. You should never take him back. Stay strong when he tells you he’s sorry because you know he’s not. Don’t let a guy determine your worth, you’re worth so much more than that.

love you guys,

Alison.

I didn’t feel like i was back to myself after blogging but i did feel better. Nobody else knew about my blog, it was something that i did for me. I did occasionally get a comment or two but that was it. I did hope that if anyone did read this entry, they would feel better about a break-up.

My phone rang then, it was Eli, i didn't have anything else to say to him and i certainly didn’t want to hear what he had to say. I let it ring and then blocked his number. My phone buzzed, it was a blocked number.

Look, i know you’re upset and i get that. I swear that i’ve changed and if you’d give me a chance i’ll show you. I will do anything to make this better, i just don’t want to lose you.

I deleted the text. Nobody could change within less than a day, and he was delusional if he really thought that there was any chance that i would forgive him.

Chapter 2

The next morning i considered faking sick so i wouldn’t have to go to school but because that had been my way to get out of school many other times, my mother knew all my tricks. I rolled out of bed and walked to my closet, i stood there for a few minuets pondering what i should wear. The weather was in the 40’s, typical weather for weather in Seattle in February, so I ended up choosing my red knitted sweater, leather skirt, leggings, dark brown boots and my favorite knitted beanie. This was something that i used to wear before i met Eli, and so it felt really good to be wearing it again. The only thing that threw off my outfit was my blue hair but that would be fixed after school. I looked at the clock on my bedside, it was only 8:00, i had another hour before school started. Before leaving my room for breakfast, i grabbed my iPhone and headphones off my desk, music was the only way i was going to get through today. I went downstairs and was pleasantly surprised when i saw that my mother had gone to Starbucks and had a slice of pumpkin bread and a cinnamon Dolce latte. She had to get to work by 8:00 every morning but she left a note on the table. I hope this makes your day a little better. I love you- mom :)

I ate my breakfast and then decided to head to school sorta early. I grabbed my keys off the key hook by the door and hopped in my black Volvo. I was more than a little nervous as i drove to school, word got around like wild fire so i knew that i would be the subject of gossip. I hated being center of that kind of attention, it made me want to ditch school just to avoid it all. I almost did, but i wasn’t a coward, not anymore. What did i care what they thought? they said all kinds of stuff about me and…ugh it just didn’t matter! I only had to get through the day and then come back home and get into bed. I could do this. hopefully.

I made it to school by eight-thirty, so i had twenty minuets to get my schedule and junk and ten minuets to mentally prepare myself for the hell that i had to face today. I put my headphones on and the 1989 album started playing, Taylor swift was the only person i needed to listen to today. Eli always said that he didn’t get her music or why i liked her and i never did explain it to him because i knew that he wouldn’t ever understand. STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM! HE DIDN’T THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN HE WAS KISSING THAT GIRL! GET OVER HIM! my subconscious screamed at me. it was right, i had to get over it. the whole thing. I took a deep breath and forced myself to just stop thinking about anything altogether (this was something that i had gotten good at doing) and listened to the music. Ten minuets was not nearly long enough but i had to at least be on time for my first class today, whatever that was. I pulled my headphones off and headed to the office, i could feel people staring at me but i deliberately avoided making any eye contact. When i reached the office i wished that i hadn’t, Danielle was there sitting on the couch with some guy with dreads, i assumed he was her new boyfriend. She mouthed the words “slut” to me and the guy flipped me off, they both laughed. I made a studious effort to ignore them and turned to the front desk, another bad choice. Mercury’s mother, Mrs. Hudson, gave me one of her “i hate you but i’m not going to show it” smiles, it was something that Mercury did all the time, i hated it. Two could play this game, i took another deep breath “Mrs. Hudson?” she glared at me “What do you want?” all attempts of hiding her hatred towards me were gone just by speaking to her. “I need my schedule, if you have it?” “I’m surprised that you even came back to school, i heard you were pregnant and that’s why you didn’t come back to school. Is your mother taking care of the baby for you?” “I don’t know where you heard all this, but it’s not even close to the truth, i wasn’t pregnant, don’t just assume everything you hear is the truth.” i said. “Well, Mercury told me that’s what she heard all over town, so forgive me for believing what everyone else does.” she snarled. “I hear all kinds of things about Mercury from multiple people, i guess you should forgive me for believing all of that is true.” i snapped. That shut her up, her face grew red and her eyes started tearing up. I felt horrible. She crumpled up my schedule and threw it at me. I picked it up off the floor and unraveled it, she scratched out my name and wrote “bitch” over it.

“Get the hell out this office.” she barked.

I walked out as fast as i could, i found Stephen standing by my locker.

“Hey, are you alright?” he asked.

My face must have given me away, as usual.

“No, but i will be.”

“What happened?”

“Mrs. Hudson informed me that everyone in this town thought i was pregnant. She asked if my mom was taking care of the baby for me.”

“Yeah, i heard that too. I knew it was a bunch of crap.”

“Do you know who started it?”

“No.” he hesitated, i knew he was lying.

“I know you’re lying, please just tell me. I want to know.” i pleaded.

“All i know is that Danielle told Mercury that she was worried that Eli got you pregnant. Then of course, Mercury freaked out and told her mother and then she ran her mouth and it got all over town.”

“I can’t believe that Mercury just believes everything that Danielle tells her. I mean, if Mercury was really so worried, she could've asked me.”

“You weren’t friends anymore, remember? It’s not like they could have called you or anything.”

“Well, if any of you had called me i would have answered.”

“I didn’t think you wanted me to call you.” he said.

“I would have loved it if you had called”

“Really?”

“Yes, really,”

“I have a hard time believing that.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“You have no idea how worried we were, Alison. We thought that he was going to ruin you, your mother was a total wreck. You didn’t seem to care about her or us or anything else but Eli. How was i supposed to know that you wanted me to call you? To be honest, the last thing that i wanted to do was talk to you.”

“I had no idea that you were so angry with me, Stephen. I’m so sorry. Really, i am”

“I’m not angry with you, not anymore. I just don’t want to lose you again-“

“Tell me what i can do to make it better.”

“I just think we both time away from each other, at least for a while.”

The bell rang, he headed off to his class before i could anything else. I could see that i paused him more pain than he had let on before. I promised myself that i would make it right with him, somehow.

I headed off to my class, which was English. I dreaded the idea of being in a room full of people who either felt sorry for me because i fell in love with the wrong person or they thought that i was an idiot who should have seen it coming.

Mrs. Green appraised me as i entered the room, “I’m glad to see you were able to come back, Alison.” she said this loud enough for everyone to hear. Eyes were on me as i found a seat in the back of the classroom, i heard them laugh and whisper about me as i passed. i wanted to kill Mrs. Green.

I was way behind the rest of the class, it felt like it would take forever for me to catch up. Especially with the amount of work that Mrs. Green assigned. She saw how overwhelmed i was and said “Maybe if you had spent less time with that boyfriend of yours and more time with your school work you wouldn’t be so far behind.”

“Didn’t you hear? they broke up.” someone sneered.

“That’s too bad, i guess your mother is watching your baby while your here trying to catch up?” she asked me.

Laughter filled the room.

I didn’t look up from my desk, i felt tears swelling up in my eyes but i fought them back, i wasn’t about to let myself cry in front of everyone, Mrs. Green would love that. Eventually, Mrs. Green went back to teaching and then thankfully the bell rang.

“Let me know if your mother needs a babysitter.” Mrs. Green told me as i passed her desk.

“Thank you for ridiculing me in front of the entire class.”

“Oh well, that was more than deserved, don’t you think? you shouldn’t be so sensitive.”

“It wasn’t deserved, the rumors are not true, i was not pregnant. I’m not sensitive, you are just a soulless witch who needs to stop judging other because from what i heard, you are not in any position to judge anyone.”

She was stunned into silence, i could tell she was about to cry. i didn’t apologize because i wasn’t sorry. She didn’t give me detention or anything so i just left the room.

I spent the rest of the day wishing that i could go home. I hated everyone, and they clearly felt the same way. Even the teachers. I avoided Stephen even though he was in half of my classes. When the bell rang at the end of the day, Stephen was at my locker again.

“Hi.” he said.

“Hey.”

“Can we talk?”

“We are talking.”

“No, i mean talk like we did at my house.”

“I thought you needed some time away from me.”

“I don’t know why i said that, i didn’t mean it.”

“Well, make up your mind, either you want to be my friend or you don’t. You can’t keep on going back and forth.”

“I do want to be your friend, i’m sorry that i said all of that. Please forgive me.”

I was glad that he said what he did, it was hard to hear but it was the truth and i could always count on Stephen to be honest with me, it was one thing that i loved about him.

“You don’t be sorry, i needed to hear it. But i do forgive you anyway.”

He pulled me into a tight hug, i hugged him back.

“You’ll never lose me” i whispered.

“Good.” he whispered back.

We broke apart then, people were staring but i ignored them.

“So, i’ll call you later, okay?” he asked.

“I’ll answer the phone.” i promised.

He laughed and i laughed with him.

I checked the time on my phone, it was 3:45, almost time for my appointment. It was nice to have time to myself after the day that i had.

I headed towards the parking lot and jumped into my car. I was looking forward to talking with Charlie, she felt like a second mother and she practically was since my mother had known her since they were in college.