Young Writers Society

I actually really liked it. I mean, it isn't action-packed, but I think all that description really sets the tone. It's a reflective story.

Thanks, folks, for the input and for reading. It was a total departure from my usual style to mimic an author I've been reading of late who writes lighthearted chapter-long anecdotes about his life (whether the events are actual, exaggerated, or imagined). But obviously memoir-style is not my forte and my life isn't really that interesting.

Especial thanks for the specific suggestions and questions, monsieur leebass.

Ok, i have to agree with wickedwonder. It was a bit bogged down with description. Also I think at the beginning the bit about the different ways the MC tried earning money were a bit boring. They seem like standard things people do to earn money, i understand your going for realism, but it just wasn't very interesting to read.
Also for a story told in the first person, the MC's emotions didn't really come across. I get that he is sad because he doesn't have any money. And he likes the cat. But that's it. There doesn't seem to be any drive in your story, you need something that holds the reader's attention, that makes me want to read on and find out what happens. Some kind of tension. There is a tiny bit: the fact that he has no money. But what are the consequences of this? Does he owe people money? Does he have bills to pay? How does he feel about this? Is he nervous, worried, depressed etc? There is a small paragraph about him eating chinese food out of the bin, that seems to be his only motivation to earn money. I think if you expand on this it could add a bit of tension to the story.
I think it would be cool if you added more figurative language to the story too. Your MC seems to be a bit of a dreamer, a romantic. I think he romanticises the cat a bit, he thinks it will miss him as much as he misses it. Maybe add more observations, reflections, thoughts etc of the MC, on the world, life, whatever. I think this would give a bit more insight into the character too.
I hope this helps

Thats a a pretty cute cat.
And that was the only nice thing I had to say.

Alright, so you just shoved description at the reader, just telling. Have now vivd imagery made this story pretty bland and boring, truthfully, i didn't even read the whole thing. I just kinda skimmed, because wasn't in the mood to have told to me. What you should do is not give the reader 'I-did-this-I-did-that' description. Truthfully, thats just boring. Let your MC tell the story. View everything through his eyes, then tell the story

~WickedWOnder