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Published January 21, 2012
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142,229 Literary Works • 677,055 Reviews
Hahaha. Somehow I feel like the 'spoiler' was aimed straight at me. It could be a haiku, all it needs is a keriji (I'll leave it to you to figure out what and where
).
From a technical point, I would replace 'fly' with something else ('float' perhaps?). I do not think it sits well next to 'butterflies'.
Nothing to critique other than that really. It's a great idea, cleverly executed. If I were you I'd ask Kylan for a review.
Stay classy,
K.