Published May 19, 2011
Talons scratch the surface
on a marble block.
Something Once untouchable
now contemplates the clock.
Opening my mind
to a concept once unseen.
Possibility flies through me
and sticks like color on an evergreen.
The steady annoyance
that's now buzzing through my head.
And now words are being written
that might never have been read.
A sweet surreal existence
of something I once knew.
Now floods with sweet persistence
And speaks silently the truth.
But these thoughts and memories are faded
and alas I cannot see.
Because these memories are of a girl
who once was, but is not me.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,218 Literary Works • 673,046 Reviews
I dont write a lot of poetry
This poem to me is just a tinsy bit confusing
but maybe thats just me...
yep thats just me...
i will get it sometime in the future
you now taught me poetry isnt always to the point
its its complexity that makes it special
Love it
This is so beautiful! I have nothing helpful to say, sorry, I just loved the whole thing! It's so hypnotically rhythmic.
I think this was my favourite verse, even though the rhyme is a little bit tentative, the wording is lovely. Although now that I look at it closer, maybe you should change the second 'sweet' to something else? Maybe not though, since I didn't even notice the first time I read it. XD
Hey,
I can't put my finger on why... but I really like this piece.
"But these thoughts and memories are faded
and alas I cannot see.
Because these memories are of a girl
who once was, but is not me."
That stanza, I LOVE that stanza. Great job, I have nothing to point out except how much I love that one part. I mean, the whole piece is good, don't get me wrong. That just... hit home I suppose. Thanks for sharing.
God Bless,
Amber.