z

Young Writers Society


16+

Unforgettable (Romance) Summary

by sanrise, sanrise


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

"Last Christmas, totally forgot. Past Christmases, tried to forget. But this Christmas? Couldn't forget—it's just UNFORGETTABLE!" -Amber

Amber, the accomplished detective, was devoid of the festive spirit and had a sunless heart that longed for the light that only love could ignite. Her spiritless self was sniffing around like a tireless bloodhound, searching for the scent of crime with an unyielding tenacity unbroken by anything—Anything, except the fragrance of the delicate flower named Nia that can blind her to the misdeed.



While Nia and her possessive and caring fiance, Bill, were on a couple's getaway, Amber's prowling eyes caught Nia intentionally yet accidentally. ((How?? you'll see! But trust me. That's not good.))



After that disastrous twist of fate, thoughts about Nia became a tormenting flame, scorching Amber's detective brain, while she, now the victim, suffered in silence. Nia's sweetness had enough potential to shatter Amber's indomitable sense of justice, creating a crack in her instincts that ultimately led to Amber falling in love with her.



For the longest time, she kept her unrequited love for Nia hidden in her heart, believing Nia was straight. The omniscient detective remained unaware of one universal truth — that love is an infectious fever that spreads through sight and afflicts anyone, regardless of who they are.



Following Amber's bitter defeat, a series of unforeseen sweet moments occurred and gradually drew them closer. Much like warm water starting to bubble with the continuous presence of heat, Amber's feelings for Nia began to simmer and eventually reached their boiling point. Water spilled out of the vessel and quenched the flame. Together, the steam of their shared emotions started to form.

Love blossomed in Nia's soft and sensitive heart that she hadn't expected. She treasured it as a sleeping rose while in the company of her fiancé, even though it pricked her every day. Without knowing Amber was gay, she faltered to garland her feelings in the thread of words. But love is LOVE. It needs no words to light the fireworks. All it takes is a shared glance.



With that glance, Love is born with a delightful fear, persisting with ceaseless thoughts and blooming with the unstoppable power of the heart.

Now, for Amber, the glance changed that tragic moment into magic by transforming Nia from a stranger to her adversary and then into her friend. However, Amber hesitated, scared of believing in magic. This hesitation left her with a lingering question: Could Nia also become hers?

You can read the entire novel on my Tumblr page: sanrisecomics.tumblr.com

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Points: 272
Reviews: 3

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Tue Jan 02, 2024 6:18 pm
starbustz wrote a review...



Hey!! Saw this in the green room and was intrigued by the title so im giving my review on this :)

So by first impressions, I think this as a summary is pretty good as you explained the character's feelings towards each other and how this follows the trope of unrequited love. and the way you broke it down into parts was great.

Picking out of this piece, i have a few quotes that i found which really compelled the story to keep me reading more: " thoughts about Nia became a tormenting flame, scorching Amber's detective brain, while she, now the victim, suffered in silence." I really liked the way you expressed Amber's confession of her feelings internally towards Nia. I also noticed your language techniques like metaphors - "Water spilled out of the vessel and quenched the flame. Together, the steam of their shared emotions started to form." Which really helped the emphasize the connection Nia and Amber had.

What i could say that needs improvement was how some of your summary went off track-Although you explained their connections, it does not explain the entire narrative of your extract, in the beginning it did but i believe you could go into more depth into the character by themselves individually. Especially on Nia - Since she is the love interest in this extract, i think you should adapt her character more, maybe even touch up on the relationship she has with Bill, her fiance who is caring but possessive - maybe you could brush up on that? . Because with the unrequited trope you have here - i think emphasizing the relationship between Nia and Bill will really drive into that, you've already touched up on the other reason for her unrequited love pretty well so i think your writing style would work great with this.


Anyways!! I think you did a really good job on this.
Have a lovely day!! (also so sorry for this late review ahahha)




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980 Reviews

Points: 148
Reviews: 980

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Thu Dec 21, 2023 1:16 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Let us dig in with the corrupted S’more!

Top Graham Cracker - Amber, a no-nonsense detective, finds herself…falling in love. Not only that, but the person she’s in love with is with someone! Oh goodness, something insane is going to happen…

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - This is just one thing and you can ignore this. But when you mention Bill, he’s described as “possessive and caring”. Those words mean two different things. If you wanted to put them together, then you don’t have to listen to this.

Chocolate Bar - I love how you described Amber’s love to Nia, growing like a flame. It was romantic and passionate, no one can ignore what love really is. Reading this summary got me interested in reading the story. The only problem is…I don’t have Tumblr. Maybe I’ll download to read the story. I’ll see.

Closing Graham Cracker -A Christmas romance novel that will soften even the hardest of hearts. I only fear what Bill will do if he ever finds Amber and Nia together. I enjoyed reading this! Keep writing. :>

I wish you a wonderful day/night!





“Writing fiction is the act of weaving a series of lies to arrive at a greater truth.”
— Khalid Hosseini, Author