Fear and soul

This is one of my interpretation of how this literacy would look if it was in the format of a poem/verse or not compacted together as a paragraph:
Fear, will never die
my heart of soul with cold hands.
Twisting my soul
and
tearing my soul.
Hiding underneath.
It's ugly.
Appearing
like the rage
in his face.
The man rest his soul
and
v
a
n
i
s
h
e
d.
The boy was
shock

I don't know. It's one of several interpretations and the beauty of poetry is that it can be shown in numerous of formats/styles. Anyone can interpret it in anyway - no matter what the actual meaning behind it.

Actual Interpretation:
Reading through the other comments/reviews - people are just on you about the shortness of the poem and asking questions about the purpose/intentions of this poem, but I think that's the beauty of it - the flawed imperfections make the best of interpretations. Although it may be shown as short here, but your profile illustrates otherwise, the words written given to us here - those alone can be interpreted in-depth without the rest. I think this poem is hauntingly beautiful. You've taken the universal themes of fear and soul like your title directly says and written with simplicity but woven together with such intricity.

Review:
The shortness of this poem portrays it as compact and nothing much to go off of. But despite its compactness/succinctness, I can tell your word choice and phrasing were picked with thought and intent. You've told your version of the truth regarding the intertwining matters of fear and soul. Like I said before, it's hauntingly beautiful. The connection between man/boy and fear/soul - it's brilliantly intertwined. Lovely job of this literacy.

- Lil, aka HalfheartedAmateur

Hey, hey, hey!! Okay so first of all thanks for following me and second like your poem. It holds a lot of meaning just by the choice of words you used. But it feels a little short, I mean it seems like a little more could have gone into it but that's just my opinion. Still I like it hope you write another poem soon!!

Hey there, Cailey here with a review.
Okay, I don't get it. What is this? Incomplete? Problem with posting? Because this can't be the entire piece. If you do have more somewhere, you can PM me and ask for a better review, since I honestly don't know how to review this.
Fear is a common thing, lots of people write about fear. Therefore, you need to really find ways to make your description of fear stand out from among all the other pieces. Things like "it's ugly." aren't very unique. Yeah, anyone who's ever felt afraid knows that fear is ugly. Heart of soul is interesting and different, but I feel like that was just a typo.
And now, what is with the man? Does he vanish because he's afraid?
Who's the boy? What happened? Where is your story? What is your point?
Basically, there are a lot of unanswered questions here. I want to know what is happening, and you don't give me enough information. Expand, make this longer and more detailed.
And, most importantly, edit. No one wants to read a story if they can't get through all the missing spaces and bad grammar. Trust me. You really need to edit before you post. I say this a lot to people, but it's really true. If we can find your mistakes easier than seeing what you did well, there's a problem. Having this minor errors really takes away from the overall goodness of the piece. And I do think this could be good. You just need to work on it some more.
Hope this helped.

This is either absolutely brilliant or just a bit naff. I honestly can't work it out. Maybe I'm verging towards brilliant, hmmm...

Hi RWG,

Nice to meet you and hope you're well

1. I liked the phrasing, things like 'the boy was shock' create very powerful imagery, which is good.

2. Unfortunately, because of the lack of punctuation and structure here, I found it hard to get a feeling for what the poem was about. Also, the sentence 'the man rest his soul and vanished' confused me a little because I wasn't sure why you used the word 'rest.'

Overall, it has potential, I think it could be good, but if you want to improve it you need to edit it,

Hope this was helpful,

Annii

Hey, rwgbookwriter! Euph here to review your poem. Or, what I thought was a poem.. I'll get to that in a moment, though. Let me start off by saying welcome aboard to the Young Writers Society family, and I hope you enjoy your stay here!
For starters.. There is absolutely no structure, which leads to very poor flow. Also, there are quite a few grammar mistakes.. But, this is what I am here to help with!
Perhaps if you were to try and rework the lines into something more like, oh I don't know..
"Fear / It will never die / my heart and soul, both with cold hands"
Also.. That line confuses me greatly, what do you mean with cold hands?
"Twisting my soul / Tearing it free / Hiding underneath"
Also.. the 'It's ugly' does nothing for me, I'm not sure why.. But, I feel as though you would be better off without it.
"Appearance / the rage lies evident on his face / The man rests his soul / Vanished / The boy, left shocked "

With a few tweaks, this poem has potential! Keep up the good work, kiddo. If you have any questions, feel free to either message me or post a comment upon my wall.
Sincerely yours,
Euph

Hey, rwgbookwriter! Euph here to review your poem. Or, what I thought was a poem.. I'll get to that in a moment, though. Let me start off by saying welcome aboard to the Young Writers Society family, and I hope you enjoy your stay here!
For starters.. There is absolutely no structure, which leads to very poor flow. Also, there are quite a few grammar mistakes.. But, this is what I am here to help with!
Perhaps if you were to try and rework the lines into something more like, oh I don't know..
"Fear / It will never die / my heart and soul, both with cold hands"
Also.. That line confuses me greatly, what do you mean with cold hands?
"Twisting my soul / Tearing it free / Hiding underneath"
Also.. the 'It's ugly' does nothing for me, I'm not sure why.. But, I feel as though you would be better off without it.
"Appearance / the rage lies evident on his face / The man rests his soul / Vanished / The boy, left shocked "

With a few tweaks, this poem has potential! Keep up the good work, kiddo. If you have any questions, feel free to either message me or post a comment upon my wall.
Sincerely yours,
Euph

Firstly, there is no structure. Secondly, there are some grammar and punctuation mistakes. Thirdly, I don't know if this was intentional or not but there should be a space after every period and comma. There is not enough content for a decent review but I can give you some points for the imagery you put into this.

It somehow makes slow sense after every sentence but honestly and sorry if this sounds too harsh, but the last line or verse "The boy was shock" is just completely wrong. Try using "The boy was in shock" or "The boy was shocked" you seem to mix up your tenses too.

This is either a masterpiece and I was blind to see it, or this was an incomplete piece and needs more work put into it.

Hey, there's not much content or rhythm in this piece nor do I think the ambiguity is in a positive way. It seems individual words make what you are trying to say hard to follow. "The boy was shock", I'm sorry but I'm the first one to accept personal takes on poetry but this just sounds like a bad attempt at a medafore. I think you write in a natural way for you which is good but you should go along the piece and try to clear everything up for your readers.

Also, its just a block of text to me. I don't consider this to have any flow, but i can implement my own flow for your words and it just needs tweaking, the first tweak; LINE BREAKS.

Anyways, feel free to message for help if you like my review.

-Hero

Hello there and a belated welcome to YWS, hope you're settling in.

Your poem has some plus points in your use of imagery; you know how to create some vivid scenes and there's a good sense of your own emotion coming through here. The only problem is it feels completely unfinished.

Most readers would shy away from this due to your structure. It certainly isn't conventional, which usually is a good thing, but in your case it doesn't fit your poetry style. Line breaks would be very necessary here to entice a larger readership.

Think about varying your punctuation too. The over use of periods/full-stops creates a very clunky fluency. Use more commas, blanks and semi-colons and experiment with punctuation to ensure you really develop the effectiveness of your fluency.

This topic is very helpful: viewtopic.php?t=12474

As for my next question it would be: why is the boy in shock? What happens next? It feels almost narrative in its set up so the vague ending here doesn't quite work very well. I think you'd probably solve most of your problems by addressing structure.

Anyway, hope this helps and keep writing.
Happy New Year.
Ben

It's too short really and poems can't be written like that. I didn't undersatnd it and I think you should work a little bit harder on this it could turn out to be great poem.
I see a lot of mistakes and too short.
Sorry for being harsh but ir needed to be done
But keep up the good work.