Published October 20, 2008
The desire, the love for only one.
That of a primary state, can't be done.
You, dear boy, reside so near to me.
But you other boy, remain so dear to me.
This love unfortunately is given to two.
But but he, my love, is closer than you.
Stab a knife into me, it'd feel just the same.
Because live far or love not, it vexes me with pain.
A set of brown eyes, a set of blue.
Do mine lock with either of you?
I choose you, one who lives close.
And I hurt you, one who loves me most.
I choose you, one far away.
And I miss out on the ones on the way.
Make me choose? I don't think I can.
Because neither of you would understand.
I don't think I'll ever know what was right to do.
But I know that I can't love two.
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139,357 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
Awesome poem, I couldn't pass this up from giving you the most lavish praise. I love your writing style. And I love ryhming poems, especially since you avoided making it childish. Great job, and keep yp the great work. Feel free to Pm me, I'll be happy to read and review anything else you come up with.
Keep up the good work!
Your poem is amazing and the ending is really good.
Im encouraging you to NEVER stop, your way to good.
This was absolutely amazing. I think it really captures the feelings and confusion that come with having to make a difficult choice, especially when it comes to loved ones. I enjoy the way it was able to rhyme and flow without sounding forced or cheesy. And even though the tone was somewhat negative, seeing as you want to choose two but cannot, it still put a smile on face. =]
Make me choose? I don't think I can.
Because neither of you would understand.
I don't think I'll ever know what was right to do.
But I know that I can't love two.
that's cool how you wrote the end...you HAVE to keep on writing...you're to good to stop now...
Omigoshers.
Iloveyou. XD
This is incredible! I don't think I've ever seen such great technique and emotion and rhythm, rhyme, FEELING come out of another poet on the website before!! It's calm, sad, painful, torn between two people -- this is so great!! There is one typo - you accidentally typed the word "but" twice in the sixth line. But other then that, this is really incredible - I am going to read more of your work when I am done with this comment.
I really love how you describe so eloquently when you are obviously pained. It's a sad kind of pain, too, and calm. Almost hopeless. You also show adoration for the two people, and show doubt and pain and loss and confusion and calm and sadness. In one poem.
Iloveyou. XP
GREAT job, keep writing!
-KK
Sorry I can't give this a proper review but I really loved this poem! It's to-the-point, short, and sweet! Everything I love in a poem! Very nice, indeed!
Keep Writing!
Adrian
I absolutely love this:
And the ending--you brought the title into the poem to end it; something that I love poets to do.
Really, very good. :3