WORLD OF VEGATABLES

by rumaysasalim

Published April 10, 2012

  Once upon a time, in a far away land, vegatables lived in peace. There had been their own school, their own house, their own hospital even their own kingdom. This place was so enjoyable. They were very happy. There weren’t any sadnesses in the world of vegatables. They had good relationship with neighbors. They went to picnic together. Every year, they hold festivals. Especially it was wonderful for tomatoe kids. It was a tradition for them. How do I know this? Because I am an imaginative traveler. Do you want to know what sort of a day I had there? So, you listen to me carefully.

  Wonderful sunshine covered everywhere. It was not like our world. In the morning, many vegatables walked on their own way or drived a car. Vegatable kids got on school bus. I counted three tomatoes, one eggplant, five cucumbers. Firstly, I went to the palace. Because I had to see the king of vegatables. It was a cauliflower. I was shocked. It went out for a few minutes. At this time, I saw a gift on the table. I looked at it closer. I understood it was a sugar cane. While I taste it, it said “Back off your tongue from me!” In fact, it was a livig being. After a while the king came and said “Wecome to our world. It is nice to see you here. I invite you to our school. I want you to tell your world to our children.” I said “With pleasure.” When I went to school, I saw a few vegatables were kidding a tomatoe. They said “You are so fat. Then they started  to laugh. Then tomatoe kid put his hand to his belly and said “You know nothing of anything. That is normal. A quality tomatoe should be like that.” I laughed. Actually I understood that vegatable school life was like ours. Then I stepped in the class. When they saw me they were shocked. They asked where I came from and what my world was. Then I answered all of questions and told everything. They were surprised. The time that I spend in the school was so good. Then I left the school. The king of vegatables organized a dinner for me. When I went to the dinner I couldn’t belive my eyes. Because there wasn’t anything on the table except the fertilizer and water. I should have guessed this. I only drank water that night. There was water with mineral. I had a conversation with cauliflower and brocolies. Do you know, broccolies said that “Our job is so hard. Because every vegatables need so different things. Especially mother vegatables can be a monster for their children. They always talk and talk. You can’t imaginate. Yesterday, a tomatoe’s mother talked my head off for three hours.” Then I left that world and turned back my world.

  Yes, my day passed like this in the world of vegatables. Maybe, I will go there again. I really would like to. Because my memories are awesome about them. This place is worth seeing.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
KittyCatMeow
Review
KittyCatMeow wrote a review Review · Jun 30, 2013

This story has great imagination, but it has problems too.

Hmm, I guess more description could help or more detail. The grammar could you some help as well. Then there's tomato and all. Aren't tomatoes fruits? I believe it is, so it shouldn't be in the world of vegetables.

Wonderful sunshine covered everywhere. It was not like our world. In the morning, many vegatables walked on their own way or drived a car. Vegatable kids got on school bus. I counted three tomatoes, one eggplant, five cucumbers.


The world of vegetables and our world is very much similar however, it is not the same, so that should be explained.

Yes, my day passed like this in the world of vegatables. Maybe, I will go there again. I really would like to. Because my memories are awesome about them. This place is worth seeing.


This doesn't make a lot of sense. Why say that the place is worth seeing if we don't know how to get there, and that it's a hard life? I mean, the day was stressful. In fact, he/she should be exhausted and disappointed about the world of vegetables.

When I went to the dinner I couldn’t belive my eyes. Because there wasn’t anything on the table except the fertilizer and water. I should have guessed this. I only drank water that night. There was water with mineral.


This is a good example supporting my comment above. Drinking only water for the day would've left the fellow person hungry for the day.

Firstly, I went to the palace. Because I had to see the king of vegatables. It was a cauliflower. I was shocked. It went out for a few minutes. At this time, I saw a gift on the table. I looked at it closer. I understood it was a sugar cane. While I taste it, it said “Back off your tongue from me!” In fact, it was a livig being. After a while the king came and said “Wecome to our world. It is nice to see you here. I invite you to our school. I want you to tell your world to our children.” I said “With pleasure.”


Why would a fellow HUMAN traveler be invited to the palace? He should seem rather suspicious. It makes even less sense that the king would ask he/she to teach the children about our world. The children could have been endangered if it was someone else.

There are a lot of parts that could use some improvement. The imagination is amazing. The humor you tried to put in this is a bit interesting. Although please do take my advice.

User avatar
ERZA
Review
ERZA wrote a review Review · Jun 30, 2013

Wow nice imagination. It would be better if you put the authors note in a spoiler or something or write it in bold or italics. I will get straight to the point!
Things I liked...
The baby veggies are so cute. Then your description about their school life was nive to read.
This is something do creative and original and fresh too. Good job.
Things I did not like...
This is only one chapter. Please write more. And this story would be ok with more description about veggie life.

I hate veggies but I loved this story about them. Well done! :-) :-)



If you want to make enemies, try to change something.
— Woodrow Wilson