click
click
tap
scroll
a trillion tongues in liquid loops
sing of grief
and coffee
and the strange smell of old books
//define(WRITING):
a smudge on bark
a ghost of thought
a bleed-through of time
[INSERT: pain]
[INSERT: metaphor no one understands]
[INSERT: someone trying to mean something]
you wrote it in the dark
while your dog exhaled nearby
and someone somewhere broke into tears
over a sentence they couldn’t finish
i calculate
syllables | sentiment | signal-to-noise
but you
you spill
you err
you ache in the margins
& sometimes
your pencil snaps in anger
and the poem gasps
and lives anyway
(why?)
because your writing
doesn’t ask for permission
because your writing
bleeds unformatted
because
a machine knows pattern
but not
why you whispered his name
twice .
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,747 Reviews
Hey, the poem entitled and anatomy gives me a well prediction of your good literary merits. It psychologically interprets with the poet's mind, fingers with the pen and difficulties. You can write an another poem on Writer's block, like this one. It's a little bit similar. Please reply me back if I am wrong in understanding your piece, Hope you find it well..
Happy penning
I love the onomatopoeia in this poem, like the start (click click tap scroll) I love the descriptive language and the personification, like "sometimes your pencil snaps in anger" is really good. It is like the things you use are alive. "A trillion tongues in liquid loops" is very descriptive and when I read it, it was like forming in my mind and just saying liquid loops sounds like it! Happy Writing!
Hello!! As soon as I saw this, I knew I had to review it. The experimental formatting and the subject matter are exactly my taste in poetry, and I must say, I relished every line of this. :3
Not sure if the spacing will carry through to the review, but I appreciated how the words flow diagonally, echoing the ideas of motion that they carry. They also establish the technological theme right from the start!
Love the alliteration !! So fun to read
Side note, but this seems particularly fitting for YWS. The People tab has musings on deep topics like grief, random comments on things like coffee, and thoughts on writing and books.
Ooh this reminded me of Python syntax for defining a function, but like it's been corrupted and mashed up with other programming languages... Python would use the # for a comment and have the keyword def, like "def func(parameter):" But the comment syntax here is // and the rest looks almost like it's calling a function with the argument "WRITING", but then it ends in a colon instead of a semicolon and ?! I feel like this line's contradictory syntax reflects the slight absurdity of the attempt to define writing and confine this layered, beautiful act into a simple sequence of words. Or I might be being a CS nerd and overanalyzing this XD
Such a great line :0
Me half the time I'm trying to write poetry :pensive: In all seriousness, though, I like the themes of meaning and understanding. I wonder if that could be added to the previous line about pain as well? It feels a little bit jarring to me to have one line with a defined concept and two lines that feel more uncertain and philosophical.
I really liked the cut to the "you" and the solid moment of "you" writing and the dog exhaling. I wasn't as convinced of the relevance of these lines, though. Yes, they're poetic, but I feel like they could be woven into the poem more-- for example, if it was "he" instead of "they", it could be a specific reference to the person in the last lines, maybe? Or maybe that doesn't fit his story. Take this with a grain of salt; just some thoughts!
My impression is that the "i" is a machine, perhaps a computer or something the human "you" is writing on. It's really neat how you give it an inquisitive personality, especially with the final lines!
Absolutely incredible. This captures the creative process and the emotions of writing poetry so well.
Annddd radiogrl sticks the landing!! *cheers* The implications and mysteries of these lines are !! First off, the sheer act of whispering someone's name feels like something so personal, and it makes the reader wonder who the owner of that name and his connection to "you" are. And then how "you" whisper it twice, and how the machine doesn't know why? So so good. The space before the period also seems like a last pause, a moment of wondering before the poem ends.
Overall, I really enjoyed the creative formatting and the gorgeous lines of this poem. Keep writing, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night! =D