These Rains

thank you so much everyone.....I'm not much of a poet ..i just wrote whatever to my mind. but thank you so much for all those lovely comments..i'll them in mind and i'll definitley improve on it! cheers

I loved this poem. Not liked LOVED

Hey there, I am Upile. i will be reviewing your work.

"The drops of crystal fall down
They fall so hard, they fall so fast.
Breathless, left alone in the night at last
I won’t walk, I won’t’ turn around.
Here, they cross my path, they cover my face
With a saddened grace, I fall down with them
And they flow with me, like a river
Beautifully haunted with shivers
The Night grows darker with every moment
And within the darkness -here you break the rhyme scheme a bit.
Disappears every trace of the moon’s halo
You don’t have to promise me the need for endless confessions
But I can promise you the very Last show
The wind strikes hard mighty with a blow
I’m just on the slip from edge
There are no words to be said,
And no distances to close in
I’m too numb
I hardly care about a win
Do you care to know, that you’ve already lost?
The last time, this path will be crossed
And the very last time, that love shall be lost to hate
I laugh; it weren’t just for this absurd fate

You would have never found me,
And maybe you never will
Nor will I ever find you
But when it rains again
You shall see
That my captured soul is now drifting free
I will fall down with the rain
Till it crushes my pain
Let’s get this over with, nothing more to pretend
As I promised you the very last show, now coming to an end
I’m ready with my eyes close,
When the last drops hit the ground
There won’t be a smile left, or a frown
Wherever they take me, I shall go
With them my tears will flow
And with them my fears will flow"

Well I love blank verse and I love poems that have a lot of rhyming but your fusion of those two was a bit messy. Individuality is something I support but here you have to make up your mind, it is either you rhyme most of the time or not. In the first stanza you rhymed and somewhere the words just took over and I totally understand when that happens. It happens to me a lot. Just fix that up. I loved the emotion in this poem and I am always up for a piece that has something to do with rain. You are on you're way, keep writing.
xx Upile xx

Hey there, I am Upile. i will be reviewing your work.

"The drops of crystal fall down
They fall so hard, they fall so fast.
Breathless, left alone in the night at last
I won’t walk, I won’t’ turn around.
Here, they cross my path, they cover my face
With a saddened grace, I fall down with them
And they flow with me, like a river
Beautifully haunted with shivers
The Night grows darker with every moment
And within the darkness -here you break the rhyme scheme a bit.
Disappears every trace of the moon’s halo
You don’t have to promise me the need for endless confessions
But I can promise you the very Last show
The wind strikes hard mighty with a blow
I’m just on the slip from edge
There are no words to be said,
And no distances to close in
I’m too numb
I hardly care about a win
Do you care to know, that you’ve already lost?
The last time, this path will be crossed
And the very last time, that love shall be lost to hate
I laugh; it weren’t just for this absurd fate

You would have never found me,
And maybe you never will
Nor will I ever find you
But when it rains again
You shall see
That my captured soul is now drifting free
I will fall down with the rain
Till it crushes my pain
Let’s get this over with, nothing more to pretend
As I promised you the very last show, now coming to an end
I’m ready with my eyes close,
When the last drops hit the ground
There won’t be a smile left, or a frown
Wherever they take me, I shall go
With them my tears will flow
And with them my fears will flow"

Well I love blank verse and I love poems that have a lot of rhyming but your fusion of those two was a bit messy. Individuality is something I support but here you have to make up your mind, it is either you rhyme most of the time or not. In the first stanza you rhymed and somewhere the words just took over and I totally understand when that happens. It happens to me a lot. Just fix that up. I loved the emotion in this poem and I am always up for a piece that has something to do with rain. You are on you're way, keep writing.
xx Upile xx

Yep. I would be lying if i told you i didnt like this poem...i LOVED IT ! Keep it up

That was great! Your wording was superb, great job. In my opinion the only najor down fall here is the begining is hazy. I see glimpses of vibrant imagery but then it blurs out and gets mottled and crazy untill it solidifies and i understand. The topic is quite cliche but you added your own unique twists to make it more personal and different. It really is good, ans I hope people come and review thi. Try making the title more alluring?I like everything from "I'm ready with my eyes close" two grammar nit picks. Make it "closed" and " 'till " but thats it. Keep writing!