Published January 20, 2013
He stood up.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
I'm not sure the Real Slim Shady ever did stand up. Are we sure? The song left it a little ambiguous as to the actual result of the possible standing up of the genuine Slim Shady. The other Slim Shadys were apparently just imitating, but why was the Real Slim Shady asking himself to stand up? Did he have insecurities? Was he actually experiencing an existential crisis and questioning whether he really had the courage to stand up?
To me, the question of whether the Real Slim Shady standing up is like Schrodinger's Cat. Quantum mechanics could suggest the Real Slim Shady is simultaneously standing up and sitting down. However, when I listen to the song the Real Slim Shady is either stood up OR sitting down, depending on your interpretation.
What I'm trying to say is: change "He stood up" to "He maybe stood up." It adds a whole new nuance to your story.
I never realized there was such intensity to this sentence.
Yes, your technique is nice, but you might want to work on your description.
How did he stand up? Did he fart when he stood up?
So many questions left unanswered.
LOL.
Haha, thanks you guys! I had no idea it would be enjoyed this much!
I was on YWS and listening to that song when I started to wonder what [i]actually[\i] happened to the real slim shady. Guess someone else had the same idea haha.
@epicdonkulous, no that wasn't me
haha this made me laugh- great piece of writing xD
What an interesting combination of words! I applaud you for being simple and showing a deep emotion in this piece, I hope that you will continue because obviously you are an incredible writer. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to see your work, I feel truly honored.....LOL
I saw this exact thing on unfriendable. Was that you? http://unfriendable.tumblr.com/post/346 ... e-stand-up
I-I.....THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!
Er. Mah. Gherd.
So. Intense. Need. MOOOOREEE!
Roosta... I can't even believe this right now. I can't even believe you right now. I just can't.
This is fantastic.
Wow, best story I've ever read.
*claps*
And then what happened?