Every Man's Journey.

“Isn’t she a beauty, I can’t stop staring at her.”
Harold Card gazed incredulously down at the soft bundle, sleeping deeply in the cot before him. He reached down and ran his finger softly across his baby’s rosy blushed cheek, his touch so soft it was as though he thought that she was made from porcelain.
“She does look just like her mother. A classic beauty,” Joan, Harold’s aunt agreed, whilst Lorna, Harold’s wife smiled bashfully and murmured a thank you.
The baby stirred in her cot. Her tiny, cupid’s bow lips opened slightly and her long eyelashes started to flutter. The three adults in the room held their breath, each furiously hoping that it wasn’t their own voice that had disturbed her slumber. After a tense moment however, a small whimper escaped the baby’s lips, her tiny fists uncurled then curled again but her eyes remained closed and her gentle snooze continued.
Lorna let out her breath before leaning down and kissing the baby’s soft mop of jet black hair. Harold watched the moment proudly and knew that he would not forget it for as long as he lived. His perfect little family, the two most beautiful people in the entire world. Before that moment he hadn’t known what it was to be truly happy with his lot, but just then, his two perfect girls were all that he could see and he knew that as long as he had them, he would never want anything else, ever again.
“Rose is the absolute perfect name for her,” Aunt Joan murmured, interrupting Harold’s daze in the gentlest way possible.
“Our little Rose,” Lorna whispered and then the three adults stepped lightly out of the room, leaving Rose to sleep, surrounded in a haze of her mother’s sweet perfume.



“Tag, you’re it Rose!” Chelsea giggled then turned and sprinted, her woolly blonde curls fanning out behind her. Rose however stood glued to the spot, her little heart beating madly. Never before in her life had she been tagged. She was normally too quick for that. But now she had finally become ‘it’ and she was terrified. What if she never caught anyone and remained ‘it’ for the rest of her life?!
She gazed around the school playground, her palms becoming sweaty. The sun was beating down heavily and Rose became suddenly envious of a group of younger children splashing their feet in a shallow paddling pool in the nursery school next door. She searched the school yard again, suddenly spotting Jamie, one of the boys included in the game of tag, hovering nervously near a picnic bench.
“Come on Rose,” she murmured to herself, rubbing her sweaty palms on her school jumper.
“You’re seven now, you’re a big girl, you can tag Jamie,” and with that she sprinted forwards, her legs moving so fast that she imagined that they probably looked like a blur to everyone else.
“Tag Jamie, you’re it!” She sang triumphantly when she reached him. Jamie scowled nastily and opened his mouth to say something but just as he did a dinner lady in a dark green tabard began ringing a large copper bell, signaling the end of lunch time. Rose virtually skipped over to join her class line and found herself directly behind Chelsea, who turned around and beamed.
“I was hoping if I tagged you, you’d get Jamie, he’s been getting on my nerves all day and I’m not fast enough to catch him.”
Rose giggled, “Well I got him for you Chels! We’ve just got to make sure he never tags either of us back!”
“And that’s why you’re my best friend forever,” Chelsea grinned, blushing slightly, the grin returned by Rose.
At the end of the school day Lorna waited for Rose at the school gates. When she saw the raven haired girl skipping towards her, her blue eyes wide and sparkling, her heart melted a little. She never wanted to stop gazing at her little girl. She was already growing up far too quickly, Lorna wanted her baby to stay little forever.
“Did you have a good day?” Lorna asked, as the two of them walked towards their car, hand in hand.
“I had the best day! I was ‘it’ in tag and Chelsea called me her best friend!”
Lorna smiled adoringly at her young daughter and said, “I’m glad,” whilst Rose twittered on, relaying the whole of her day to her mother, who listened with apt attention, lapping up Rose’s childish enthusiasm over trivial things, like painting a flower, or learning her six times tables.
On the way home Lorna stopped at the shops to buy Rose a bright blue ice lolly. Rose sat in the front seat and ate it happily, feeling completely content with life, but being too young to truly understand what it meant to be content.



“I can’t believe my little girl is all grown up!” Lorna’s throat tightened as she said the word ‘little’ and the rest of the sentence was nothing more than a gargled sob.
“Oh mum,” Rose sighed, frowning fondly at the slight woman before her, who she had to bend down towards in order to plant a kiss on her wet, salty cheek.
This wasn’t the first time since she’d gotten accepted into university that her mother had broken down a little and each time it happened, a part of Rose’s resolve faded and leaving her friends and family seemed less and less of an option. Rose patted her mother’s shoulder soothingly and swept across her crowded front room, where her parents were throwing her a going away party. The room was infused with the aromas of various mingled perfumes and the freshly cooked party food that was laid out invitingly on a table in the middle of the large room.
Rose’s family were dotted around, swaying back and forth to background music. Rose knew that she should be out there with them, joking and laughing with her aunts and uncles, dancing with her little cousins and catching up with her grandparents. But as she watched them, the more her eyes welled with tears and her mind became fuzzy with panic. She would miss the people in this room so much that it physically hurt her heart. How could she be excited about university when it meant leaving all of this behind? Rose caught the eye of her great aunt Joan sitting demurely in the corner of the room, picking at a piece of chocolate cake that was on her lap. She waved at Rose but Rose couldn’t bring herself to acknowledge the frail, elderly woman, the urge to cry growing stronger. She darted to her left until her sweaty hand clutched onto the arm of a slightly chubby blonde who was standing next to the chocolate fountain, the soft natural light from the window across the room, illuminating each strand of her wispy, fly away hair.
“Chels,” Rose gasped, trying to keep her composure, but failing miserably, her frame beginning to crumble, her round blue eyes becoming damp with tears.
Chelsea quickly swallowed the sickly sweet morsel of chocolate covered marshmallow in her mouth and reached out to support her friend.
“Rose, what’s wrong?” She exclaimed.
“I just don’t think I can do it Chels, its all too much. I’m not ready for this. I’m a child! I can’t leave home and look after myself. Its too much change, I can’t deal with change. And I can’t leave you and everyone else Chels, I just can’t do it!”
Chelsea listened wordlessly, trying to hold in her own tears.
“I-I-I,” she stuttered, lost for anything to say.
“Don’t worry Chels, I’ll take this one,” a deep voice came from Chelsea’s right and she turned to see Harold Card, with a whisper of a smile visible beneath his thick, black moustache.
Harold reached for his daughter and the two of them walked silently into the next room, where they sat, shoulder to shoulder on a cheery coloured two seater.
“Dad,” Rose started, but Harold interrupted her before she could get any further.
“No, listen Rose, because I’ve been wanting to say this to you for a while now. I know you’re scared, I’ve been in the very same position myself. But you need to embrace it my love. I know change is scary but it is also incredibly vital. Even if some steps might be hard, I know that. But you always need to enjoy the journey, that’s the most important thing. And the journey into adulthood will be one of the best, I can guarantee you that.”
Harold stopped speaking just as Rose leant over and enclosed him in a hug.
“Thanks Dad,” she murmured, holding his advice close to her heart, not yet knowing it was some of the most important advice she would ever receive.



Rose Card admired her reflection in the mirror. Her outfit consisting of a black pencil skirt and dark red blouse were perfect, without a crease in sight and her raven black hair fell in glossy waves. As she watched herself shift from angle to angle, a small, confident smile appeared on her face. She began to wander around her spotless little flat, pausing momentarily to admire the view outside her window. The first signs of autumn were clearly visible. The grand oak tree that stood proudly in front of the park opposite her building, seemed as though it were on fire. Its leaves were glowing shades of red, orange and brown in the early morning sun, some leaves littering the little park bench that sat below it. As she watched a small gust of wind blew a few of them onto the damp pavement, where they twirled and danced around for a moment or two, before becoming still. Rose shivered at the sight and grabbed her parka from where it lay over the back of a chair, tucked under her round dining table.
This was the day she’d been waiting for, for what felt like most of her life. It was what she’d spent the last four years of studying to do.
“Hello children, I’m Miss Card.” She whispered the same line she’d been practicing nervously in her head over the past few weeks, ever since she’d been offered the class two teacher job in the local primary school.
This particular morning however, her excitement really was overshadowing her nervousness. She was sure that if anyone was ever to write a book based on her life this would be her culminating moment. Her father’s advice was echoing in her mind, ‘just enjoy the journey’ over and over and she knew for certain that she would. And with that thought she took one last sip of her freshly brewed coffee, gathered her things and left her little flat, ready to face her future.

“But my life is basically over!” Rose groaned, attempting to hide her face in one of the many pillows stacked on her bed without messing up her recently applied makeup.
“Don’t look at me Jake, I’m a hideous old woman now.”
Jake chuckled, removed the pillow separating them and took hold of his wife’s petite hands.
“Rose, you’re only turning thirty. You’re not even halfway through your life yet!”
“I suppose,” Rose muttered, trying not to look at her husband because she knew she wouldn’t be able to contain her smile if she did and she was trying to make a serious point. Jake grinned at her.
“You could at least let me be dramatic, I mean its my birthday after all.”
“Oh, sorry your highness,” Jake scoffed.
A moment of silence passed between them, the only sound being the gentle breeze that floated in through an open window, disturbing a mound of paperwork on the desk and wafting the smell of clean linen around the room.
“But in all seriousness, it honestly does feel like there’s nothing left to look forward to now, I‘ve hit all the big landmarks of life, if you get me” Rose said quietly after a while, wrapping a strand of hair around her finger and biting her bottom lip.
“Are you serious?! Jake exclaimed, reaching forwards to pat Rose’s swollen pregnant belly, “Years of sleepless nights, poopy nappies and school runs to look forward to, what more could you want?!”
Rose giggled somewhat tearfully, causing Jake to move closer to her, his hands still resting on her stomach.
“Remember what your dad said,” he whispered gently, “this is just the next phase of your fantastic journey.”
Rose instantly filled with love for her husband and leant over to kiss him, his words causing her tension to rapidly dissipate. How did she end up marrying such a clever man?
“Anyway, we better get a move on,” Jake heaved himself to his feet, followed by Rose.
“The guests will probably be here soon.”
“Happy birthday to me,” Rose sang, actually starting to mean it, the tiny sadness in her heart being completely overpowered by her love for Jake, for her parents and the other guests arriving downstairs and most of all for her beautiful unborn child.



The tall, spotless mirror in front of Rose seemed to be displaying a stranger. Rose wriggled her toes and the reflection followed suite. The stranger was her. The sun was bright outside and was illuminating tiny specs of dust that were swirling gracefully around the room. Rose gently ran her hand through the air, disturbing a few. She stopped suddenly though, when she noticed how feeble and wrinkled the hands at the ends of her wrists seemed. She lifted one and placed it on her soft cheek. She traced every wrinkle with the tip of her finger. How haggard her face had become on her journey, all sixty years of it. She tried to remember everything her poor face had been through; harsh snowstorms, scorching sunburn, the stress of three children and at least five hundred bottles of moisturiser, not to mention the amount of loved ones who had kissed her cheeks. Suddenly she felt reluctant to wash it ever again, as if washing it would feel like washing away all those memories. She reached up to pat her greying black hair into shape. Something about the fuzziness of it made her remember Chelsea and the day they’d promised to be best friends forever. Her memories were fond and Rose wondered how easy it would be to try and get back in touch with her old friend after all these years. How sad it was that they’d drifted apart along the way. She stood there for a while remembering not only Chelsea but also a sea of friendly faces, some who were still nearby, some who lived miles away and some who were no longer in this plane of existence.
“Rose, the kids are here,” Jake hovered in the doorway, his voice shattering Rose’s reminiscing.
She gladly turned away from the mirror and took her husband’s hand, feeling as though she was stepping out of the dream world of memories that had been flashing through her mind like a rose-tinted picture book and back into reality. She gazed up at her husband. Despite the slight stoop of his back and his now white hair, to her he looked just like the twenty five year old she’d met all those years ago.
He kissed her fingertips softly and the two of them started down the stairs. At the bottom they were greeted by the fresh faces of their children and the gurgle of small toddlers and chatter from the rest of their grandchildren.
“Hello Mum!” Jason, their eldest son beamed, surrounded by his small tribe of four children.
“You look well mum,” Lewis their second son, put an arm around his mother and she squeezed him back, his rosy cheeked triplets, all squirming to be let out of their pram by their mother, so that they could inevitably receive the treats that their grandparents had for them.
Then Lorie, Rose and Jake’s youngest stepped forward with the newest addition to the family, wrapped tightly in a soft pink swaddling blanket, held tightly in her arms.
“Mum, dad, meet Harriet Lorna Card-Jones, your newest granddaughter.”
Rose squealed in delight and Jake chuckled deeply at his wife’s reaction. Rose reached out and was handed the tiny bundle, feeling her love not only for the baby, but also for her whole family tingling throughout every cell of her being.
“She’s beautiful darling,” Jake cooed, gently stroking Harriet’s raven black hair.
“She truly is,” Rose agreed, “in fact, she looks just like I did when I was a baby!”
“Very modest mum!” Jason laughed and the whole room joined in, laughing a little too loudly it seemed as Harriet stirred, her eyelids opening to reveal large aqua eyes. She stared right at Rose without making as much as a murmur.
Rose grinned and passed Harriet back to Lorie who seemed as confused as everyone else as to why her baby wasn’t screaming at the top of her lungs after being so rudely awoken.
“Well she’s laid back!” Lewis said, barely holding back on volume anymore, since there seemed no need to.
“She’s perfect.” Lorie gazed lovingly down at Harriet and Rose recognised the look of pure adoration.
“Well everyone, I think now is the perfect time for a cup of tea and a piece of cake!” Jake said with authority, marching into the kitchen.
“Cake!” the little ones squealed, following their grandfather as quick as their little legs could carry them.
Rose herded the rest of the family into the front room, where minutes later Jake and the children returned, laden with a large yellow teapot and the most beautiful chocolate cake any of them had ever laid eyes on. The family sat in the brightly lit front room for hours, chatting and laughing, until it got dark. Even then Jake lit the log fire in the centre of the room and everyone huddled around it, the children sipping mugs of hot chocolate with marshmallows bobbing on top and the adults reminiscing about their childhoods and the fun times they’d shared together. Once the children’s cups were empty and their stomach full to the brim with warm chicken soup and seconds of chocolate cake, they were taken into the arms of their parents and gently placed into their car seats, to be driven home and placed in their warm beds.
Rose and Jake said goodbye to everyone individually, kissing and hugging and wishing safe journeys. They then went back inside and sat side by side on the seat nearest to the crackling fire, not speaking much, just enjoying the comfort of the other person. Rose rested her head against Jake’s comfortable shoulder and smiled to herself, once again feeling content with her life and this time being old enough to truly understand what it was that she was feeling.



The soft, downy duvet covering the whole of Rose’s frail body made her feel as though she was enveloped within a cloud. She lifted a hand to feel the cover, relishing the gentle crackling noise it made as it moved, the sound reminding her of cold winter evenings during her childhood, huddled under a feather duvet on the sofa, her parents either side of her, a hot chocolate clutched within her little hands.
As she moved, the small gathering of people in the room turned to face her, a mixture of nervous grimaces and sorrowful smiles on their faces. Her children; Jason, Lewis and Lorie were there, as well as her eight now grown up grandchildren and even her five great grandchildren. What a little clan they’d created, she and Jake. Thankfully the younger children seemed unaware of what was going on. They were perched in various positions around the room, chatting, playing and laughing.
Good, Rose thought to herself, that’s how its supposed to be.
Rose knew she was ill. She knew she was probably dying. She felt a warm tear slide down her cheek but it wasn’t from sadness. It was from joy. It was from the most intense joy she’d ever felt. Because she knew that even if this was the end for her, it had been one hell of a journey. It had been the best eighty years anyone could ever ask for.
There was a movement at the corner of her eye and Jake moved into view, a sad smile on his face, his deep brown eyes telling her everything that she needed to know in that moment. It had been such a beautiful journey. Rose’s eyelashes fluttered and for a moment she thought that she caught the scent of her mother’s sweet perfume. She felt herself slipping away then with a smile on her face, her next big journey glowing within reaching distance.