Autumn

by rmbarkan

Published September 18, 2009

Several nights have past away,
And, quoth the bridegroom,
"Come what may."
There stands the bride,
Tinted red and gold,
For in autumns tints,
This stories told.
Like the passing of time,
From summer to fall,
A romance has cooled,
Chilling all.
Next come bare trees,
Leaves on cold ground,
Reminding lovers,
Winter comes around.
Now heres our bride of red and gold,
And, with the passing of time,
Love dwindles, she's told.
So she, to bridegroom,
"What have you to say,"
And his reply is,
"Come what may."

Comments & reviews · 6
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Aianarie
Comment
Aianarie commented Comment · Oct 6, 2009

Nice work! This poem has an intriguing look and sound to it. Remember to double-check your grammar and spelling!

yellowSummerroom commented Comment · Sep 22, 2009

I liked the flow of the poem. I liked how it looked on the page too!
I also think autumn evokes all sorts of emotions in people so great choice of topic.

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Monument Soul
Review
Monument Soul wrote a review Review · Sep 19, 2009

that DROP-Dead poetry. I make enough grammar mistakes ast is, so if I ever giver you adive on it ,ignore me.

You've definately have defined style about you...now all you have to do is find a a more unique premise.

there're always better stories out there (and in you).
But' for now let's perfect this.

...Drop-Dead poetry :thud:

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rbarkan Comment
rbarkan commented Comment · Sep 19, 2009

I really enjoyed reading this poem! the rhymes seem well thought out and the poem flowed really well!

Insanaca Guitarist wrote a review Review · Sep 18, 2009

This is really good. Usually I really hate poetry but your poem here is great! Apart from the spelling mistakes that was a flawless poem. Keep up the good work! :D

MissMiaFacinelli wrote a review Review · Sep 18, 2009

Firstly, welcome to YWS! It's always great to see new members!
I really liked your poem - it had a good ratio of rhymes to syllables, and flowed beautifully. Your description was excellent!

Just a couple of little things, though.

rmbarkan wrote:Several nights have past away


This should be "passed"

For in autumns tints,

This should be "Autumn's"

This stories told.

This should be "story's"

Now heres our bride of red and gold

This should be
"here's"


Other than that, I really liked it!!

Keep writing!

Pgsgirl x



Very well; I hear; I admit, but I have a voice too, and for good or evil mine is the speech that cannot be silenced.
— Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness