Published October 24, 2011
My golden heel don't
make it up the stairs.
The lay askew
with my new coat.
My chin rest against
the white porcelin
of the sink, as an
array of features leave my throat.
Mascara tears cascade down
my face, leaving pain
stricken memories against
my pale skin.
Heat simmers inside me,
I cry out in pain, and
fall to the floor,
crumpled against myself.
I hear the soothing tones
of my mother.
"Chemo takes time baby,
just you wait."
This hurts me more than anything.
Most teenagers face
this night I thought to myself.
Few face the thought
of death.
I can feel the toxic
swim through my veins,
feel it clinging to my
blood cells.
I yearn for release.
But I can't help wonder,
why me?
Why me?
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140,597 Literary Works • 673,549 Reviews
Hi there!
I love your poem- it is so sad but brilliantly written. It was very memorable, in my mind, for several reasons. The imagery was accurate and meaningful, and you didn't stray from the main point, which was her pain. The ending is especially effective-the lingering question that we all ask at some point; the 'why me.' It was an excellent way to end- very thought provoking.
-This is my favourite part. It draws a great deal of sympathy from the reader.
Overall, I have next to no nitpicks- any grammar or spelling errors that I might've seen were minimal, so good on you for that!
Thanks for the awesome read and happy writing
-Briggsy
This poem has great imagery, I can tell that maybe you have some connection to it. In the beggining I was confused but as I read on it just kept getting better and better. I like stanza three because of the imagery it gave me, most big time publishers look for that they want to be in your writing and that's what you did here. Great job, keep it up.
Very good poem. It digs deep in emotional thought. Keep on writing