Many things have I done but never putting behind my love for you.
So as from the day you be able to read this,
Always in your mind bear the truth- that I have loved you.
And no matter be it past, present nor future...
It never fails.
Be it done, will be done or is doing
Love in fact, is always love.
-It never ceases.
Never fails, always and forever.
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140,571 Literary Works • 673,517 Reviews
Wow, i really felt the depth there. The ending was superb. Never fails, always and forever. I love it when writers end with something meaning full or deep. I definitely got the feeling that you were writing from experience, which can have a really good impact, usually, on your writing. I'm just new hear and figuring out how this all works so sorry if this reveiw wasn't to good.
Hi there.
First off, welcome to YWS! You'll love it here. You're gonna meet so many people here who are just like you. This place is addictive.
Coming to your poem, so this is good. I like that it's short and concise. And it does get across to the reader very well.
The only thing that I have to point is that you may want to re-structure it a little bit. That would go a long way in helping it flow better. This is a personal opinion, though. So you can totally overlook it.
If you need anything, feel free to PM anytime. I'll be more than happy to help..
Good work!
harshita
Hey, reids26! Welcome to YWS!
Wow, this is quite a short, but powerful poem. I believe that you did have a rhyme going at first, as in line one and three you had "you" on the end of the sentence, so I thought you had a theme going there. But it doesn't matter, it is a lovely poem. So, the main theme is love. So, I'm sorry, I quickly clicked onto this to review and forgot to read the summary. But what I got from this, on line two you say "so as from the day you are able to read this", does that inform me you are talking about a child, perhaps the narrator (if it is based on you) talking about their own child. I find this sweet.
When you I read this, I feel quite emotional - it is very touching and expressive. Your writing style reminds me a lit like Shakespeare's sonnets, initially the last three lines. Whether intentional or not, Shakespeare's goes: "Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds" and "Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks". I'm not saying "oh, they've copied", because I know you haven't. Perhaps you have got inspiration from him? I do not know, but I'm saying you have that lovely writing style that everyone likes.
You have used enjambment to highlight and emphasis that you/te narrator will loves the person they are talking about forever, as enjambment is where two lines run into each over. Which usually represents time. So, here, you are telling us that you will love them forever, no doubt about it.
Well done.
Yours sincerely,
Traunt