Young Writers Society

Hello. I'm from the Philippines also. Now, that being said, I think that the way you used imagery of nature and coupled it with Filipino words gave this poem such an original touch. I honestly really love this. Your imagery was simple yet so very vivid. I could see and feel everything that you talked about in this poem.

I really want to write a more substantial review but I think that all I really want to say is that I think you use words brilliantly. Your father captures images through photographs and I believe that you capture images just as vividly in your words. This is an amazing poem and I would love to read more from you.

Hy!
Here to review a bit.
One thing I noticed that the scenery you have created is amazing. I could see myself there, by the falls. I really love how you created and combined the scenery.
Also, the word choice is very good. They really help in sustaining the scenery and atmosphere.
Good job. I really like it.
Though , a little bit more feelings..

Thanks for your reviews. Much appreciated

The "foreign" (how ironic on my part. haha) words actually were italicized in the original copy, but when I pasted it on my blogspot and then here they suddenly weren't. I logged out right after uploading. Sorry for the confusion

English may not be my first language, but it is the language I breathe in.

While at first I selected the images at random, I later realized they each seem to represent some sort of life lesson one can learn from a father. What do you guys think?

Hey, wonderful poem. I liked it a lot. It reminded me of something right out of my English book. I really love how you incorporated your heritage into it. I think that's what added to the charming quality of it all. And the notes at the end were helpful as well. Cluing the rest of us in. -Much appreciated. I better understand that part of your poem. It came out beautiful. Great job.

Normally, I hate making a comment or review so short, but I promised myself that I would comment/review the first thing I read upon breaking my review fast. Well, anyways, I'm going to at least comment on this and share my thoughts as best as I mentally can!

When I first read this, I was confused at first about the foreign words you used, as I did not know that (I do now, though!), but they do make the poem feel more personal to the writer, which is something I, personally, enjoy in reading short poetry like this. It's short, but not short as if you just wrote it on a whim, more like you wrote it longer at first, then found what you really meant, just covered in a few extra layers of words and phrases, or even something you wrote fluidly and slow, each word following one before it perfectly, or as near as possible. I'm not saying this poem is perfect, but I still enjoyed the way it the images were conveyed. My only concern with that is that you should really italicize those words. Now, I understand that considering English is more than likely not your first language (I don't know for sure, so please don't be angry with me if I'm wrong) , making those words stand out don't seem necessary. Being that you're posting on a dominantly English site, however, it would be very good of you to follow the rule of grammar about italicizing lesser known foreign words. To me, those words were lesser known, but they may be common knowledge really. I'm an Okie, and the part I'm from doesn't have a lot of hispanics (two or three by my last count).

The subtlety is also something to be awed by from your poem. Reading this at first without that end note, I never would have guessed that your father was a photographer. Reading it a second time after knowing this, the poem seemed to change views, and it didn't really change the emotions in it, but it did kind of open the reader's eyes.

Great poem altogether. Loved it. Again, only thing that bugged me was that one piece of grammar. If anything else is wrong with it that others see, well, then it apparently didn't bother me. Also, congrats! You're my first reviewee since I've returned!

hi... Ita nice poem.. I liked it pretty much... Keep writing...