Blame
We are taught self love
to be confident in the body we have
and proud of who we are
We grow up thinking this is how we should live our lives
being happy with the body we were born in
and satisfied with being ourselves
We get to high school
We get sent to the principal's office
because our shorts are too high on our sexualized legs
or because our shoulders are showing
on a day when the sun could fry an egg
We are losing that same precious class time
they are concerned that the boys would be deprived of
if they feel distracted by our looks
We are removed from the classroom
or even sent home
for wearing shorts that reach just an inch above our fingertips
We are told the boys can’t handle themselves
because of what we wear
NOT
because they haven’t learned self restraint
Why do we have to be punished for something
that is completely under the boys control
to stop
or avoid
We are told that it is our responsibility
for the lack of a boys self control
and punished for what we grew up thinking was strong
We are told that it’s our bodies fault
for how a boy acts
We are scorned for being comfortable in our own skin
As a woman, I know almost no women who like their body,
who feel good about their body,
almost none,
but you don't know how you got there.1
Until you look around and see the impact
of what’s happening in these schools
We are ruined of everything we were taught to love growing up
Works Cited
1. Wallace, Kelly. “Do School Dress Codes Body-Shame Girls?” CNN, Cable News Network, 30
May 2017, www-m.cnn.com/2017/05/30/health/school-dress-codes-body-shaming-girls-
parenting/index.html?r=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F.
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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I like the fact that you cited the work, giving credit is very important. I like the idea, and do agree that the dress codes can get very ridiculous, I see one typo and that's the 1 at the end of but you don't know how you got there. Otherwise very well written, and extremely truthful. Keep on improving.
Hi reaganmcchristy!! It Sophie here to review your piece!
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Like the others said, I think it is a brilliant idea to have the works cited because it gives credit where credit is due.
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I also like the topic of this story. Our modern world is corrupt and needs help. Writing is a great way to spread this word. Although my school dress code is pretty fair, (it's fine if we can't see your special areas) I know of some really stupid dress codes.
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the only typo I see is this
"but you don't know how you got there.1"
i'm taking a guess but I think that's not supposed to be there.
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other than that, this piece is very well written and very truthful. I love the meaning and slight anger behind it. it shows the piece is fighting for a cause.
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just one more thing...
if you can, move the works cited down further so there is no confusion where the poem ends.
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Welcome to YWS!
good job and write on
Hi there, reaganmcchristy, it's MaybeInk here for a review.
First of all, I love the point you're making here, and like Bellarke mentioned, it's good that you also included the works cited.
Now, as a girl, I can understand this struggle, even though I myself have never gotten in trouble for dressing "inappropriately," but the reason why I haven't in past years gone to school in short shorts or a tank top is because I'm uncomfortable in my body. I hate my body, I hate my stomach and my thighs and my arms, but lately, I've started to come to terms with myself and love my body the way it is - rolls and all.
Anyway, I didn't notice any spelling or grammar mistakes, except for this piece here:
"but you don't know how you got there.1"
Just a guess, but I don't think that that 1 was supposed to be there.
And - just to make it easier to read - maybe move the works cited a few lines down.
Also, I noticed you are a new member, so welcome to Young Writers Society, I hope you enjoy it here as much as the rest of us!
That is all for now,
~ MaybeInk
Hi! It is me, B!!! I am going to try to review this nice be for you!!
I just want to say that I absolutly love how you put a works cited. That was a very nice thing to do, I have not seen anyone do that on here so far.
The best part, in my opinion: "We are scorned for being comfortable in our own skin
As a woman, I know almost no women who like their body,
who feel good about their body," This shows how people feel, and I can feel the feelings in it.
HELP:
I think that you should get rid of the 1 at the end of the sentence.
"but you don't know how you got there.1"
also you should move the WORKS CITED farther down from the real poem.
That is really all that I see.
OVERALL: I loved this, you did well, and I completely agree.
Keep up the good work, and writing.
~B.