Valentine's Day (edited)

by randy

Published January 24, 2006

To call you,
Just to say sorry.
Forgive me,
In return for a smile.
Maybe you can hug me,
Or give a kiss.
I wouldn’t mind.

Stay friends?
I wouldn’t mind.
Wasted Wednesdays and gone Mondays.
Losing poker can be our hobby.

Whatever happens,
It’ll be alright.
We won’t be alone forever.
I’ll find a girl,
You’ll find a man.
Not in time for Valentine’s Day,
But that’s nonsense anyway.
Why pick only one day to love?

So, yeah, it's about a girl. I wrote it after I got shot down about twenty times in one night. Who watches a romantic comedy with someone you don't have any interest in? I mean, srrsly...

__________________


I edited this a bit. I think it's a little better, please lemme know whatcha think. Thanks!

Calling on you
For forgiveness.
The lost apology
Never reaches your ear.
In my head,
We’re smiling and kissing;
Dancing ‘til we die.

Stay friends?
I wouldn’t mind.
Wasted Wednesdays
Gone Mondays,
And losing poker as our hobby.

Whatever happens,
We won’t be alone forever.
I’ll find a girl,
You’ll find a man.
Not in time for Valentine’s Day,
But that’s nonsense anyway.
Why pick only one day to love?

Comments & reviews · 9
User avatar
-KayJuran-
Review
-KayJuran- wrote a review Review · Feb 8, 2006

wow the shameless bump worked. this is great, though i much prefer the second one. here are my favourite bits:

Stay friends?
I wouldn’t mind.


and as so many people have already said:

Not in time for Valentine’s Day,
But that’s nonsense anyway.
Why pick only one day to love?


sorry had to put that one in. ;)

i like how this poem manages to speak about relationships, even about love, but without seeming overly mushy. lol

~KayJuran~

User avatar
HereAndNow Comment
HereAndNow commented Comment · Feb 8, 2006

Good Job. I liked the second one better!

User avatar
randy
Comment
randy commented Comment · Feb 8, 2006

A horrible, terrible, disgusting, although shameless bump so that people see the edit.

Thanks for the comments! :):):)

User avatar
Sophie
Comment
Sophie commented Comment · Jan 30, 2006

I liked the "Wasted Wednesdays" bit
But I agree with everyone that the "Why pick only one day to love?" bit is classic. Don't mind if I use that do you?

The rest of the poem was ok, but I feel it wasn't as amazing as it could have been.

User avatar
Chanson
Comment
Chanson commented Comment · Jan 30, 2006

This is just so pretty and simple...I've been wasting around, reading poems and finding I have nothing to say about any of them. But I really liekd this - especially, as Matt said, the last line.

User avatar
Matt Bellamy
Comment
Matt Bellamy commented Comment · Jan 30, 2006

"Why pick only one day to love? "
Loved that line. So true. Loved the whole of the last stanza, in fact. Can't find anything negative to say about it-I bet a lot of people can relate to this.

User avatar
randy
Comment
randy commented Comment · Jan 29, 2006

Thanks a lot for the feedback!

Random avatar
Elizabeth
Review
Elizabeth wrote a review Review · Jan 28, 2006

Heh, this was pretty. You express Valentines day the way I express Christmas: in a negative way.
Oh, how lovely will this be?

At least, even though you'll have an odd Valentines day, I will too.

My favorite part was:

But that’s nonsense anyway.
Why pick only one day to love?

User avatar
Doubt
Review
Doubt wrote a review Review · Jan 28, 2006

randy wrote:To call you,
Just to say sorry.
Forgive me,
In return for a smile.
Maybe you can hug me,
Or give a kiss.
I wouldn’t mind.

Stay friends?
I wouldn’t mind.
Wasted Wednesdays and gone Mondays.
Losing poker can be our hobby.

Whatever happens,
It’ll be alright.
We won’t be alone forever.
I’ll find a girl,
You’ll find a man.
Not in time for Valentine’s Day,
But that’s nonsense anyway.
Why pick only one day to love?

So, yeah, it's about a girl. I wrote it after I got shot down about twenty times in one night. Who watches a romantic comedy with someone you don't have any interest in? I mean, srrsly...


I loved it. I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic myself :lol: .
I really liked this: "Wasted Wednesdays and gone Mondays.
Losing poker can be our hobby."
Keep up the good work. :thumb:



"The trouble with Borrowing another mind was, you always felt out of place when you got back to your own body, and Granny was the first person ever to read the mind of a building. Now she was feeling big and gritty and full of passages. 'Are you all right?' Granny nodded, and opened her windows. She extended her east and west wings and tried to concentrate on the tiny cup held in her pillars."
— Terry Pratchett, Discworld: Equal Rites