All I wanted was to live my own life.
And get away from my phony wife.
I merely wanted to escape,
And find a better place.
This enticement of freedom drew me through that door,
For my life was becoming,
A never-ending chore.
That faint click of the door closing,
For this new world began exposing.
A crisp foreign odour clogged up my nose,
And the sweltering sun burned my cold toes.
Colossal buildings towered in the skies,
Like a shadowing disguise.
An immense crowd had gathered ahead,
“Welcome Truman” is what they said.
My smile vanished into thin air,
As the camera lenses began to stare.
The masses of crowd called my name,
When I didn’t even ask for this thing they call fame,
Can’t they see that it is tormenting me?
Why can’t they just let me be?
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,796 Reviews
Hey there, this is a good poem. I enjoyed reading it. I hope that you will post more poems.
Good luck and keep writing,
Alicia.
HEY!
Once again, well done.
Good to see you on YWS!!! Cant wait to read more of your poems (you better put more on)! I remmember doing this haha, good times. I dont actually recall reading your poem though, however it is really good. You really mannaged to capture how you thought Truman would be reacting once he left the world he had known for so long and entered a scary, new place. Definitly extention-class quality lol
-Blossom xx
Thanks for the great advice, we also studied the Truman Show in English. I don't usually rhyme as well, but i though I'd give it whirl.
I'll try and fix up the flow of the poem, and be sure to take your other advice aboard.
MHAHA to you too.
-rainbow bubblex
Hey rainbowbubble!
I'm RepublicOfCoter (R.O.C.) and I will be reviewing your poem today. Before I begin, welcome to The Young Writers Society (YWS)! It is always great to see some new faces! If you would like any help or you would like me to review something, please don't be afraid to PM me or just leave a message on my wall. Now to the review...
I have watched The Truman Show and I am actually studying it in English class. It is a very interesting story and makes you think whether you are your own television show. I liked how you captured Truman's feelings after he realized that his life was a show. It was very creative and to choose this movie was excellent. Now, with poems, rhyming isn't a must but it worked well here! This poem basically sums up the movie up to the point when Truman finds out that everything is fake. It would be even better if you could somehow add another stanza or two describing his feelings at the beginning before he realized anything, during and after. This would capture a better feel and give a bit of contrast and it would give some character to Truman.
If I could offer any other piece of advice or criticism, I would say that some lines went a bit too long for it to fit with the flow of the poem. Other than that, fantastic work!
MWAHAHAHA!
-R.O.C.