Lost my place, gazing in your face.
And the deeper I fell the darker my desires
in Night Blue.
'More than this! ' my spirit cries,just beyond the priests prayers/lies.
Straight from my heart this sin that is you
this lie that is my life, the Night's Blue.
Fall with me beyond the grasp of Angels adn Demons.
To where love's no longer a lie.
To sing without lifes regrets, in Night's Blue,
For my darling all else is lies, but what we feel here and now.
And dreams of the Eternal, a whirlpool of confused emotions, holds no charm for
me.
Your skin so pale against the night....
invites me to shed all that I held as true...
To swim with you
in
Night's Blue.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Thank you very much everyone I loved it to...
Great poem, the words like jumped off the screen at me, it was like they were alive, you put so much oomph and emotion into them, great job. My favorite part of the poem was:
I loved it. Very prett, well written. My favorite part, "Your skin so pale against the night....invites me to shed all that I held as true...To swim with you in Night's Blue." Very nicely done! Loved it!
thank you tasha...
thank you I appreciate it and sorry for the spelling mistakes..
I like it a lot.
This is my favorite line in the poem.
keep on writing c-8
thank you. I was just thinking and thats what I came up with. I didnt know.
I think that "the priests prayers/lies" is very effective and a strong sense of desire came across when I was reading it. I didn't like the first line because "face" and "place" ryhme too well and I prefer words that rhyme far more loosely but that's purely a personal preferance and i'm sure many people won't agree with me. other than that nit pick I thought that it was a good piece of work with the right level of emotion conveyed.
I dont know it could possibly be... that is a good thought. and thanks for the good review I liked that poem to..
Very pretty. Well worded, well phrased, well done. I loved it! I wonder if "Blue Night" is a better title for it than perhaps "Night's Blue". Just a thought, don't take me too seriously