Voice

by ra1n

Published November 29, 2010

Another Day
My Voice Kept Silent
Another Way
My Soul Left Violent

At home nothing said
Quietly perched upon this bed
Sitting in deep thought of what to say
words approach, but nothing stays.

At school it's all the same
Silently alert, sitting in shame.
Words flow all around
trying to grab hold, but remain on the ground.

Another Day
My Voice Kept Silent
Another Way
My Soul Left Violent

Another Hour, Another Day
Months pass, with nothing to say.
A voice once soft,just like the cotton
remains lost, the sound forgotten.

How did this happen. How can this be
How can a small boy, forget how to speak
Alone on this bed, left in wonder
How a voice so soft, was once like thunder.

Another Day
My Voice Kept Silent
Another Way
My Soul Left Violent

This is madness, A voice so weak
Somehow certainly forgot how to speak
So here, upon this bed, with so much to say.
I lay here writing; I've Found a way.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
kikialicia31
Review
kikialicia31 wrote a review Review · Nov 29, 2010

Hello and welcome to Young Writers Society! I enjoyed reading it. I like the intro but it's kind of disturbing when you keep on repeating it over and over again. And why is the "I" bolded?

Anyway, it's a good poem and I think it's okay. Write more because practice makes prefect.

Keep writing,

Alicia.

User avatar
KatTrain
Review
KatTrain wrote a review Review · Nov 29, 2010

[quote="ra1n"]Another Day
My Voice Kept Silent
Another Way
My Soul Left Violent good intro

At home nothing said
Quietly perched upon this bed
Sitting in deep thought of what to say
words approach, but nothing stays. beautiful line

At school it's all the same
Silently alert, sitting in shame. shame makes me thing of a dog, why are you in shame??
Words flow all around
trying to grab hold, but remain on the ground. you or the words?

Another Day
My Voice Kept Silent
Another Way
My Soul Left Violent

Another Hour, Another Day you've already said this in the previous stanza
Months pass, with nothing to say.
A voice once soft,just like (adjective) the cotton
remains lost, the sound forgotten. i like

How did this happen. How can this be
How can a small boy, forget how to speak? I like these two lines
Alone on this bed, left in wonder
How a voice so soft, was once like thunder. The voice used to sound soft, you forgot it. Now it sounded like thunder? Check your story

Another Day
My Voice Kept Silent
Another Way
My Soul Left Violent

This is madness, A voice so weak redundant
Somehow certainly forgot how to speak
So here, upon this bed, with so much to say.
I lay here writing; I've Found a way. why is I bolded?

You shouldn't bring yourself down so much. This is good, making excuses doesn't pardon a bad poem, anyways.

Random avatar
ra1n Comment
ra1n commented Comment · Nov 29, 2010

I'm not going to pretend I fit in here. I used to love to write, and lost it.
So here, i signed up for this site, stared at the blank page and came up with that on the spot

its childish, its bland... but its who i am.
My Grammar Blows. I don't believe in it.
when i feel inspirational, i stare at a blank sheet and write what i feel, usually in rhyme form.

i want to become great.
but on my own time.



I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots; Her coat is one of the tabby kind,with tiger stripes and leopard spots.
— T.S. Eliot, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats