You don't know me

Hey there, Quinn! This is Alex, back with a review. Let's dive right in!

First let's discuss the titling. It feels very fitting, considering it's repeated throughout the poem and binds the theme really well. I do think it is a bit hefty, but it's barely noticeable. Not to mention, I have no better suggestions so this shall do.

Sometimes you think you do, know me

I believe the 'know me' part is unnecessary here. The previous lines offers enough context already. Plus, this hanging part is interrupting the flow of this poem. So I'd recommend you cut it out!

I think you did once
Care about me

I sense a break here that shouldn't have been there.. My alternate suggestion isn't perfect either though so I'll leave it upto you to decide.

"I do think you used to
care about me before"

Or

"I think you did care
about me, once before

Not anymore

Oh, how about adding 'though' after 'anymore' for added impact? Just a thought!

Cause you turn your head away from the scars on my arms
You ignore the hurt you cause
I should just help myself

You saw this coming, didn't you? It's clear you were struggling with this line so let me offer my suggestive help-

Because you divert your gaze
at the sight of my scarred arms
You ignore the hurt you cause
Guess I ought to help myself

I realise I may have taken too much liberty here, so feel free to take only the parts you like!

Cause I need attention to

A grammatical error- it's supposed to be 'too' here.

Forgot I'm human did you?

How about a comma after 'Forgot'..

I break my back to please my friends
I quit on you

A tricky spot! I actually found your leap to friends from a supposed lover rather abrupt and unjustified. I think the poetries does better with that line altogether. Deleting that one might really help the theme be coherent. As for the second line, I have two suggestions to make it fit in the syllable pattern better.

"I finally quit on you"

Or

"Tired, I quit on you"

Cause you don't deserve it

Is it just me or 'I deserve better than you' sounds a lot more empowering?
If you wanted to keep this though, I suggest switching 'it' for 'me'. It's sounds much more taunting of the poetess.

The last line was an absolute mic-drop. Bravo!

This poem was brimming with emotion, and filled with spite. The writing is a little unpolished, but hey you got to start somewhere! With some practice, you'll begin to get the hang of it even better. Keep writing, hope to read more from you sometime.

Okay, Quinn, I didn't really want to review any poems for the foreseeable future... But yours doesn't show up in the Green Room anymore, despite only having 1 review. So, that is not okay. Hope you can bear with me

Hm I feel like these two lines don't really fit at this point with the rest of the poem:

Care about me

Not anymore

It feels... like an unpleasant repetition.

These two I do like on the other hand:

Cause you turn your head away from the scars on my arms

You ignore the hurt you cause

I like how this shows us the relationship the narrator has with this person--that most likely this person and their actions are what caused the narrator to hurt themselves in the first place, and now there is this frustrating lack of taking responsibility.


Well it sounds more like the narrator is slowly but surely waking up to the fact that they cannot rely on this person. A person that did use them, maybe unintentionally?, before. "I'm not just someone you can use....." So I think this line should be taken with a grain of salt ^^°