12+

Oh, how i'd want to be a veternarian.

Veternarin.

Harder then medical school for people.

Yes. I know, i'd be a challange.

But i'm already 'challanged'.

I can't get in.

Even if I wanted too.

Can't.

Sutureing up wounds.

Weilding sugrual interments. 

Anyalzing samples.

Finding out WHY animals are sick.

Stricking a hand up an animal's rump.

Yes. Nessicary. But umpleasent for the poor animal.

If I could be a vet, I would.

But I can't.

My eyes and brain are too sick.

But I study in my free time.

I also write about it.

I love animals.

And people.

I hate seeing them suffer.

But healing is a gental, peacefull thing.

It's also filled with pain and misury.

In time, you heal. 

I cry when I think about it.

I.

Cry. 

Every.

Time.

I want to be a vet so bad.

I have a big, GIANT HEART!

Unfotuntaly, enlargment rays don't exsist.

Wish they did.

Then I could enlarge animals to my liking. 

So I can see them.

So that I can heal.

To bad 

Make-A-Wish dosn't exsist for occupations...

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
Hijinks
Review
Hijinks wrote a review · Mon Aug 07, 2017 5:35 pm

This is such a sweet poem!

Well, like some people have pointed out, there are quite a few spelling mistakes - Veterinarian, not veternarin, challenge, not challange, suturing, not sutureing, (I believe you meant) surgical, not sugrual, instruments, not interments, sticking, not stricking, necessary, not nessicary, unpleasant, not umpleasent, gentle, not gental, peaceful, not peacefull, misery, not misury, unfortunately, not unfotuntaly, exist, not exsist, doesn't, not doesn't, and last, a repeated typo - exist, not exsist.

But spelling isn't a huge part of poetry - the content is the huge part. And I love the content! Like the other people commented, aside from some punctuation I LOVE this poem!

Sorry it's such a short review, but I don't have much to say ...

~whatcha

User avatar
SnowGhost
Review
User avatar
L182
Review
L182 wrote a review · Sat Aug 05, 2017 3:28 pm

Hello,
This was a very compelling and beautiful read and im really greatful that I got to read it.

Needless to say I have some pointers that maybe could help you deliver it a bit better, mainly i believe you just have a lot of punctuation and maybe it makes the flow of the poem halt to much and sound robotic. Try playing around with where you place the punctuations :) see if itreads a little different , if it's intended to be that way then awesome! The message still come across very well.

And super nitpicky on this next point but a lil spell check :) I think you meant necessary instead of nessicary , unpleasant instead of umpleasant and misery instead of misury.

Regardless that's all I have to say about the written part.

About the message itself its powerful and I love how you deliver it. It hits close to home.

I hope this that according to your capacity you can achieve the want to heal them :) somehow here's to hoping.



If you have a Kuzco in your life and they don't turn into a llama, bail.
— Alan SeaWright