Mysterious white lies

Hi there, prishaaggarwal !!

This is Eros here with a review for you !!

I really liked how catchy the title is ... It is indeed attractive and compels the reader to read the content.

Coming to the content, there are different sub topics which comes under it.

1) The presentation.

The presentation is nothing but the format of the stuff, like paragraphs in a story and stanzas in a Poem... But that is not an obligation here, as it does not apply everywhere.

Like in this poem, the poem is already short and sweet, and if stanzas are inculcated in here, it will decrease its sweetness. So I liked the style in which you have presented the poem.

2) Punctuation.

This poem is very unique in itself. The uniqueness to the poem is added because of the punctuation. It is another skill to have, to be able to explain the feelings and emotions without using a punctuation. I had a poem in my school textbook which was also completely without punctuation. And it is a rare skill to have.

I liked it.

3) Flow of the poem

Flow of the poem is very smooth as the ideas explained in stepwise manner forms a continuous link with each other. That means the ideas are expressed in an unbroken manner. It is one of the most important thing to be present in a poem, especially.

4) The Theme

The theme of the poem is very romantic and the touch of romance is added to the poem by the actions of staring and also the description of mischievous eyes. One observes so much about a person when he is in love with the other person.

5) Ideas and thoughts

You have got very creative ideas and creative thoughts that you have expressed through the poem. Keep it up...

6) The style of writing...

Every writer has a unique style of writing... Some write in a simple and in a language that is easy to understand ... While some write in a decorative and adorned way, using new words. Your poem is simple to understand. The way you have described the canvas being lifeless and the Painter adding life to it. It shows a true love for art.

It was a unique theme and full of creativity. I loved this awesome piece of poetry ...

Keep writing such a amazing stuff and we will keep reading them them !!

Have a great day / night !

~ Eros

It's an interesting poem to visualize! You don't say what exactly the frame the speaker leans against is, is it a doorframe? the canvas frame? That wouldn't be sturdy and also really close to the person the speaker is watching, thus they wouldn't want to walk closer. I also like how the genders of the subjects are ambiguous because it leaves more up to the reader's interpretation. It also makes the reader wonder about the character of the painter for them to be described as sinful and mischevious.

The physical structure of the poem is interesting also, it looks like a spun pot with a handle below the rim, and the lack of capitalization is neat.

Radrook here to give a review.

Thanks for sharing this very thought-provoking poem. Of course poems can be made to be thought-provoking by leaving out details and having the reader wonder what was meant.


I greatly admire the ability to write poetry in that way. My understanding of the poem is that it speaks of a person who approaches another who is in the process of paining something on a canvass. It seems that the porcelain skinned painter is laughing and that the speaker approached her based on a whim. He or she watches in silence and calls the canvas plain and lifeless and tell us that she gave life to it. Then her face is described as pretty and a comment is made about her white lies and the mischief in her eyes. The importance of those lies are indicated by the repetition at the end as if the speaker is indicating that the lies were really not that white nor insignificant and that he was using verbal irony.

The poem succeeds in conveying the contemplative mood and the irony of his comments. It also succeeds in raising many questions such as, how exactly is she pretty? What exactly is she painting? What was or is their relationship? What exactly were those little white lies told in mischief? Were they related to marital infidelity? What is he really after? Revenge? A reconciliation? To offer an apology? Seeking an apology?

Suggestion

Regular punctuation would have helped me to read it more smoothly.

I had trouble visualizing him leaning on the frame since that would topple the whole thing over. Painters usually set up their canvas on a rather flimsy tripod and any little push would topple it. Also, if he is leaning on it with his shoulder, then he is facing her as she paints and not seeing the canvas. That forces me to imagine that at some point he did see the canvas and what she painted. Whether it was prior to the leaning isn’t clear.

All in all a very interesting read.
Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Temptress here to give a review!

So the first thing I noticed right off the bat was your use of 'i' I is usually always capitalized so if there was a reason for it being lowercase I have missed and please feel free to fill me in.

Okay, so I'm also going to make a comment on your lack of punctuation, again it seems like you have forgotten to use punctuation or I am missing a hidden meaning for doing this.

The last thing I am going to say is I found the ending quiet... interesting. Not necessarily in a bad way, but I haven't seen many poems ending like this.

Overall I think that this poem is very well written and if you ever need help just let me know.

Until next time!

~Temptress~