Published June 16, 2011
See the novel : Battle Of The Hopeless for this please:)
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Hi Polly. I liked this part. Your prose was methodical, blunt, and objective. On the downside, I'm not a fan of books in which the storyline centers around ghosts and spirits. Nitpick time:
I know english isn't your first language, so i'll let you off. Otherwise, this is badly written. It should go more like: I always wonder what the outside world is like.This is unrealistic. Butterflies land on peoples' fingers in fairy lands, not generally in real life.
he's still alive - right? Then he isn't lifeless! Try something like: limp ect
Those were the only things I found. On the whole, good grammar and prose. Well done!
~ Alia