Fire.
My fingers are freezing,
Up on my roof I'm cold and thinking.
My knuckles aren't acting right,
This night's the coldest in awhile.
It's probably two in the morning,
My eyes are prickly and hard to keep open.
Right about now I'd kill for some fire.
I'm trying to fight the desire to sleep,
Damn, if I just had a fire.
I'm shaking too much to get down,
my bones are aching from the cold.
If I only had some fire.
Why I'm so bold when I climb up,
and terrified when I get down,
I'll probably never know.
-poet
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hi there,
First, I'd like to point out if there are any expletives in your work you should probably rate it as such so that no one gets offended. That being said, I'd like to say that I like the imagery of this piece. It's a neat picture: a guy sitting on the roof, and he's cold and frustrated. As a reader, I want to know more why. You mention a bit at the end about how the narrator has no fear climbing, but why does he fear going down more than he hates the cold? From a grammatical standpoint, make sure you're consistent with capitalizations and such; in the last two stanzas, you didn't capitalize the first word of the middle lines. My only other suggestion would be to show and not tell; instead of saying "I am this or that," say what the elements are doing to the narrator, and what the narrator is doing to the elements.
Let me know if you have any questions on my comments; I know I can be confusing at times. Thanks for sharing this piece!