Hold Your Breath

by pletta
  • November 8, 2012
  • Poetry
I held it, 

As it poured out and left
 
I cleared the dirt.
 
The sand,

The mud,

From eyes,

Once,

Like mine,

Like yours,

From nostrils

And lips

And ears
 
And hair


I’ve felt close before,

There was no light,
 
There were thousands,
 
And I knew once what it was like,
 
To not know if I cared anymore,
 
And with everything,
 
I hope you knew.
 
Comments & reviews · 4
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ToSaferHarbours
Review
ToSaferHarbours wrote a review · Thu Nov 08, 2012 6:58 pm

I liked this poem. It was so brief, and it was the kind of poem you want to read several times. I loved the lines where you said,

"There was no light,

There were thousands..."

That just touched me somehow, it made me feel a twinge of something in the back of my mind.

Really beautiful. I want to read more of your poetry :)

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pletta
pletta replied · Fri Nov 09, 2012 12:54 am

Thank You

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IlhamAlKhatib
Review
IlhamAlKhatib wrote a review · Thu Nov 08, 2012 5:45 am

Well first of all, I really like it, and I believe you did well in it !!
I like it was brief, but was touching me to a level, I thought I really have been on adventure, and felt just this way and you wrote it instead of me...
these phrases really touched inside of me; "I’ve felt close before,

There was no light,

There were thousands,

And I knew once what it was like,

To not know if I cared anymore,

And with everything,

I hope you knew"

I like that the words you have chosen were clear which made it easy to understand.
It seemed like it was produced by experience...
Wanna read more of yours...
Keep it up :))
-Ilham

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pletta
pletta replied · Fri Nov 09, 2012 12:54 am

Thank You



I think the best thing about making it into the quote generator is when nobody tells you, so one day you're just scrolling and voila, some phenomenally inane thing that crawled out of your dying synapses and immediately regretted being born the second it made contact with the air has been archived for all time. Or worse, a remark of only average inanity. Never tell me when you've put me in the generator. Pride-tinged regret just doesn't taste the same without the spice of surprise.
— SirenCymbaline