Mother, mother

Hello!

I'm here because you have requested a review from me in my WRFF thread!

Since you didn't specify something that you wanted me to specifically review on, I'm going to just write down anything I think needs edited or that you should work on!

As I've seem that many people have already reviewed this, I will try and make this mostly an overview, not very specific review. I don't read the other reviews, so if I repeat something that someone else has said, that means that you might want to edit that specific part

Sorry in advance that this review took so long, I have been quite busy recently

Okay, let's get into it!

well, wow. This is beautifully done. The ending is well thought out, and I love the way you made it fit in the poem without directly saying it.

Something I was confused on is this, Is the mother dead or alive? this wasn't quite clear in the beginning, or throughout most of the poem. At some points I feel she's alive, but some I feel that her death has caused the ending? I don't know, try and clear that up if you can.

something that bothers me is that the flow is sort of awkward. The breaks and pauses seem weird in some places and you might want to change where you brake some of your stanzas.

I honestly don't have much more to say, I really love this poem. I do think that you could've stated things more clearly, not exactly just telling me "she's dead" or "she's alive", but like, hinting at it more clearly throughout the poem. This would be very helpful

Hope I helped in some way!

- Del

Wow. I really love this poem. I have issues with my mother, so I can definitely relate to this. I can feel the narrators pain and the word choice was incredible. I think you did a really good job on the punctuation because it added pauses which dramatized the poem and kept a nice rhythm.

As for nitpicking, there's not much I can pick out. Poetry can sometimes be hard to review because a lot of it is completely up to the poet, which is the case right now. However, I did notice one thing after re-reading it. I noticed you did not have a particular pattern in your stanzas, which could have helped better the poems form and appearance. Also, this is up to you, but you could only capitalize when starting a new sentence. Though personally, because I don't know how that would appear, you might just want to leave it the way it is.

Anyways, you did a really good job on this poem and I look forward to reading more of your works!

Wow...this surprised me in a way that I've not been in a long time. That was, needless to say, intense. O_O

Your skills as a poet, plathonstone, are impressive. I'm fascinated by your writing capabilities, and the emotions that you convey in your poem. This is vivid, this is powerful, and this quite clearly communicates the plight of the narrator, who suffers from the iron fist and cruel nature of her mother, which has driven her into wearing "a beautiful necklace/made of rope." I can imagine the suffering of the narrator through your intense writing, through your powerful details, and clear and effective writing. In particular, the third and second to last stanzas were the most intense. The third one saddened me, as it did a good job of displaying the narrator's feelings, and the lost love of her mother, as well as set the scene for the rising tension and revelations in the later lines of the poem. The second to last one stunned me; this creepy feeling rushed all over my body, and I felt a chill down my spine. It was horrifying, especially when you combined it with the last words of the narrator.

In all, I found this poem amazing. Your clear and powerful language is ingeniously made and sharp. The emotions that you convey are stellar, and the details that you provide, such as using metaphors (I cut and slice/for you...Unable to chew,/but that does not bother you) to convey the narrator's overwhelming sense of futility and despair, as well as rationale that she is done with this torment and will have no more of it, all combine to form a work that cannot be easily forgotten. It was unique, and I enjoyed reading it from start to finish. I would like to note that "grieve" is the proper term in the first line of the third stanza, instead of "grief," but I also found no incorrect punctuation - this poem was clear, as far as that goes. Besides, I've never felt that a poet should have a punctuate his/her poem properly if he/she doesn't feel like it. But I'm straying away from the topic. In conclusion, this was a beautiful poem. Well done!