Under

*waves* Hey there! I remember seeing this in the Green Room when you first uploaded it and now I'm here to review it!

But frankly, I'm quite wordless as to offer any constructive opinion on this that anyone else that hasn't said. In fact, this is going to be a terribly short review with me going on about how good this poem is.

You know for an austere subject like death, you have made this surprisingly entrancing poem by using some pretty unique metaphors and personification. I say surprisingly, because most death poems are morbid little things that speaks of darkness, but this one. I don't know, it seems to be both morbid and beautiful at the same time. I especially admire the rhyme of this poem that seems to aid the flow as well, I think this is one of the best poem I have read on rhyming so far, the rhyming really doesn't seem force and blends in with the rhythm beautifully. It actually even makes it flow in a somewhat lyrical way.

But I have one suggestion for you:

to the boy whose spirit passed

little do they know

This is a great poem, very well written.

First off, it flows very well. The style which you use is simple, but not un-complex in its language, and hence, not uninteresting.

The subject of death is almost always morbid, dark, or depressing, but I don't get that in your poem. I understand that there is some sadness, and that, essentially, the Underworld is calling him, but you make a good point of making the point that it's not all as it seems;

"For they sing to an empty tomb

the lonely grave marks an empty womb

the child is gone, his soul has fled

to the realm of the peaceful dead"

Great choice of words here.

You have some very good descriptions which imply a lot of different things, while all driving towards the main point. This gives the poem that depth which is so often lacking, but it still flows and makes sense to the reader.

In the end, I enjoyed reading it and it is a good work of art.

Thank you pensword!

Whoa!! I love this poem....

It's one of the rare cases where a rhyme scheme helps along with the flow, I'm amazed by how you used the scheme to help along with your poem instead of making it simple and thoughtless.

I can't even point out certain lines and verses because the ENTIRE poem is so beautifully written!! Your opening lines themselves can keep the reader hooked. I simply love your descriptions, I love how you brought out the theme with an example instead of making it abstract.

While reading it in my mind I can totally imagine how someone's voice would drop to a whisper at the last words of every verse... It's eerie... It's smooth... It's perfect.

I'm glad I stopped to read this, WELL DONE !!! Please keep writing

Hi!
I absolutely adored this poem. I'll start off by saying the first thing that came to mind while I was reading, which was "Damn, that is some enticing imagery." I usually find horror a difficult genre to capture when I'm writing, but you did an amazing job of it in this poem. Your descriptions have enough impact to keep the reader at the edge of their seat and your word choice enhances the flow of the poem, which I like to think helped give the poem a certain ethereal and spooky feel.
The images you created are spectacular and literally made me remember a moment I had a long time ago when I walked out into my yard at around midnight. There were clouds covering the moon and stars which only made things darker. A breeze wafted over the city and the leaves rustled in a way that made goosebumps rise on my arms. It was scary, of course, but I couldn't bring myself to go back inside because it felt so beautiful to be there. Your poem is like that in that it's kind of scary and you don't necessarily like being scared, but something is keeping you there, reading until the very last line.
I also have to say how much I liked your structure. I wasn't sure I liked it at first, but after the third stanza I enjoyed knowing what to expect. And the rhyming is pretty on point. Usually I write in soft rhyme because I find it hard to find a word that works both to make my exact point and rhyme with another line.
Overall, it's a fan-freaking-tastic poem. You write well and there isn't anything I would change about this poem.
Keep writing and good luck,
Dianne E.C.E.

Hello! I love the atmosphere of this poem. It's dark and misty and the words you use give it so much mystery and depth. I just have a few comments,

1.

with dripping arms of ebon glim

beneath lies anguish, under rock

to the realm of the peaceful dead.