No shape
No sound
But what's written on this shifting ground
Unstable in this state of mind
The world is turning upside down
A spinning rainbow of blazing colors
No beginning
No ending
Just this constant ringing
In my deafened ears
There’s everything to run from
But nothing to run too
Bare feet on shattered glass
Broken bones against the pavement
Perpetual enslavement
To those with freedom
Take it and run
Because with bloody hands
And a weak heart
I crawl in the dirt
Searching,
Always searching
For a shape
For a sound
For those words I wrote on the ground.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Reaaally reaaally liked this. Good job! One of the best poems I've read on YWS so far.
Hi! I quite liked this. I like the way you combined short and longer lines - normally this might disrupt the flow of the poem but here I think it was okay. I particularly like these lines: "There’s everything to run from / But nothing to run too", it should be "to" though, not "too". I also like the last line, it feels as if you're saying you're looking for a plan you had written out, but since then you have lost your way and you're trying to find your plan again; that's just what I get from it. Good job.
Thsi is a good poem, though I don't see any story to it. But some poems don't have a clear story to which urges reader to figure it out. And I'm sure I will soon enough. X3 Good job so far, keep it up! :3