Car Crash in the Bedroom

This was very...interesting. I liked the idea of it all but it all seemed a little random to me, maybe if you brought it just a tinsy insy bit closer to the point? That's just me.

Interesting poems are usually all great though and I loved how easy to read and yet jumbled this sounded to me.

Keep at it!
~Rieda

Well, it's not as bad as a lot of the tripe in the forums these days. Unfortunately, it's also definitely not the best--or even close--that I've seen on this site. There seems to be very little rhyme or reason to your line breaks. Your punctuation also needs a good bit of work.

Using your line breaks (which are very clumsy and off-putting to a reader's inner ear, or even when spoken aloud) your punctuation should be like this:

I'm wearing no trousers,
and thinking about painting
the shed or the fence.
But in my defence,
I got nothing much better
To do.

Pitchfork! A tree full of crows; [Maybe a semi-colon or a dash here--the comma's just not cutting it]
A cup of fucking tea won't get
Rid of my woes.
And I'm still wearing no trousers.
She'd kill me soon as look at me; [Again, you need more than a comma]
She'd kill me if I dressed like this
For dinner.

It was a car-crash in the bedroom-- [Yet another run-on! Stop abusing commas!]
A car came in through the window.
God, it makes no sense,
And it was just horrendous says the
Evening news, [Bad! Stop it with the commas!] Twisted [Why exactly is this capitalized?] metal everywhere.

Middle age couple die in bed,[Another run-on. Semi-colons, colons, and dashes are really great, you know. I should introduce you sometime.]
Police treat it as suspicious.