Published September 8, 2011
Green leaves dance in the wind
as the sun burns down.
It is not the sun she wants
as she wanders down the shaded path.
Shadows stretch out their hands,
pulling at her dress.
A cold hand touches her cheek,
and the rain drops begin to fall.
There is no fear in her eyes,
she knows nothing of life's trials.
As she walks down its path
with the shadows' hands on her dress.
She pushes through the brush
in hopes of finding her way back.
It's red eyes wander on to her,
a new puppet for its mischeif.
It holds her in its grasp
and she only sees home.
Her smile returns
and suddenly, it all stopped.
Claws lashed out against her
and all chance of beauty is in vain.
Every day, in the mirror she cries.
The scars are still on her face.
The monster holds her heart
as she searches for what she once knew.
But the monster will never let go.
He never planned to.
A/N: This is however you interpret it. Let me tell you, this is a very difficult poem to write, especially because of the rhythm and trying not to rhyme. If I screwed up, please tell me. This is a METAPHOR though, so if you take it literally, then I really am annoyed.
Thank you and take care.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,444 Literary Works • 672,564 Reviews
I loved reading this! It was so exciting for me at least from the very first line! and the fact that your words succeeded in drawing the images in my brain.. was very appreciated. I love poems that translates into images.
I liked what you were talking about.. definitely absorbing! I'm a huge fan of the creepy/mystery stuff... so this for me was just beautiful! and Don't worry.. I think everyone got that it was a metaphor
LIIKE!
this is beautiful! Great job!
This rates really high on the creepy meter. Nothing is said overtly, but the metaphors are enough to let my imagination fill in the blanks. Good job!
Wow. Bravo. I Loved the imagery, it was gruesome in my head at one point and my imagination totally went haywire BUT yet I couldn't stop reading it! Very good write!
i think that it is a beautiful and illustrative peom. i really liked reading it and i think you are a great poet. it is a great collection of metaphors and it is very impressive how you wrote it in a way, they didn't clash but flowed along with each other. thank you for posting such a wonderful poem.