Prologue to my story

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

The paper I had been holding fluttered to the ground as I stood there frozen showing no signs of ever moving again. I thought to myself I must be mistaken, its probably just one of her many stories that I knew Anna wrote. I picked it up and reread it trying to reassure myself. But even as I began reading the first line I knew I was mistaken. It was true, Anna was, was... oh god I couldn’t even think it much less ask her about it. I crumpled my brow in confusion, trying to recall anything I had heard or any signs she had put out. I couldn’t think of a single one. I looked into the full length mirror that stood in my daughter’s room studying my gaunt, suddenly old looking face. My husband Jeff walked in and concern was instantly etched on his face as he came and tugged the paper from my hand as I had been clutching the papers so tightly my knuckles were now white. As he began to read the baffling words that filled the page I could see the color slowly draining from his face.

Okay well this is an intriguing scene here. Before I get a bit deeper into that though I think first I have to say this piece is in need a bit of paragraphing here. As it stands, its not too bad, and the flow actually does work for the most part, its just that its a bit tougher to read because it is a bit of a wall of text as it currently stands.

Moving past that little issue though, I think you've got a pretty solid piece put together right here. There's a good bit of sort of buildup there as we start thinking towards this sort of reveal there towards the end and I think you do a pretty solid job of really ramping up that tension quite quickly there, and then when we get there its spills out quite nicely. The fact that the full effect of everything remains a mystery to the reader there is a pretty good decision I think because now I think it makes for a wonderful cliffhanger where as the reader you can't help but really want to find out what happens next here. It all comes together very well I think besides that minor situation with the paragraphing.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

This is really good just make sure that you seperate the paragraphs.

The paper I had been holding fluttered to the ground as I stood there frozen showing no signs of ever moving again. I thought to myself I must be mistaken, its probably just one of her many stories that I knew Anna wrote. I picked it up and reread it trying to reassure myself. But even as I began reading the first line I knew I was mistaken. It was true, Anna was, was... oh god I couldn’t even think it much less ask her about it. I crumpled my brow in confusion, trying to recall anything I had heard or any signs she had put out. I couldn’t think of a single one.

There would be a paragraph after that, I think, but I'm pretty sure. Good work and keep it up.