Panda, Panda, shining bright
In the stillness of the night,
You sit there eating your fresh bamboo,
Wondering why the world is so blue!
In what distant memory
Have you seen such pure peace?
We haven’t had it in a while!
We need something to make us smile!
Something to make all war cease,
We need something to encourage peace!
Why not go and pray to God that one day,
One day soon, He will come and save!
We just have to trust and hope,
There is no time to try to cope!
We need to pray and help somehow,
Quit looking around and think of now!
Panda, Panda, shining bright
In the stillness of the night,
You sit there eating your fresh bamboo,
Wondering why the world is so blue!
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Canary word: Present
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
Hw hot ! and raw was this! keep it up. (RAw meaning good and nice or sweet)
Great work.
re:
well ur nice... lol... of coarse i kno u r right... i mean i did put it up there for critique... well nice to meet u i'm [onetrue]
Fix up your flow. And the poll is superflourus at best. As are the exclamation points. Your rhyming scheme is inconsistant, and when it does rhyme, the rhymes are forced or stretched. This piece wasn't abysmal, but it certainly needs work.
But most importantly; GET CRITTING
Akshurlie, you *do* have to crit at least two pieces before you post any of your own. I thought this was a good poem, although the rhyming didn't flow so well in some parts.
-Twit
Hey onetrue!
Remember me? I met you in the chat room! Well welcome! I liked this poem. oh and just for a suggestion you should critique some other peoples work and then they will know you and will check your work out. Just suggesting you don't have to but you get point for that and ya. ok well I thought your poem was very cute! I liked it a lot. I hope your ok with people giving you critiques! Because there's a lot of that here! ok well great job keep it up and bye 
