Published June 10, 2011
I look around this room, and
I see myself
Tacked to the walls and
Spewed on the floor
With my remains draped over
Plastic hangers given
One chance at life.
Suddenly,
I realize why
I couldn't find myself before.
Pieces of me were too
Busy
Clinging to the walls,
Coating the carpet, and
Creeping out from behind
My closet door just
Placed ajar.
I'd misplaced everything.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,620 Literary Works • 673,560 Reviews
perfect description of my room
LOL .. hehehe
i know there's something more in this poem
and i want to figure it out.
Hi there.
This is a pretty dark poem. I love how it starts of with all this trady and angst and sort of keeps sinking into it. The metapohr of misplacing thing in a room was a really cleaver idea.
My favirote part was proably the ending. It sort of broke out from the rest of the work, and left us with a very punchy ending. So good job.
this is beautiful and horrific at the same time. You're imagery reminds me of an explosion, escpecially the section about peices of the subject being draped over plastic hangers. The mood of teh poem is clearly conveyed, although i wish it had maybe been one or two stanza's longer. the ending comes abruptdly. It sounds in the beggining like the disorientation of the subject was sudden and shocking, but the line about having misplaced everything makes the confusion seem intentional, like it is the subjects fault. Either one of these would work but they almost contradict each other. I think that you could leave your poem exactly the way it is and still have a beautiful peice, but i think a fourth stanza just before the last line would make it even better. keep writing, you are obviously very talented.