Published January 2, 2009
Here's my song...title's debatable, but this is the one that best fits. Feel free to comment with a name change, I'll take them all under consideration. No set music, but I've been working on simple music for the words.
Goin' 'round this track once again
Playin' no game with you
Want to be on your good side
But there seems to be no good side...
And we're on opposite sides, opposite directions
And I'm, heading down this road to nowhere,
And you're, heading somewhere better than here...
Better than me...
But I digress, however hard it is
Not to lament you and my Broken Heart
Broken Heart
Paste on a smile and happily
I wave to you as we pass by once again
Wave farewell to you
Farewell to you
I see the end of my road blacker and bleaker than yours
heading towards the light
Just go towards the light...
But I digress, however hard it is
Not to lament you and my Broken Heart
Broken Heart
Why won't you let me jump
Off this road so black and bleak?
But you won't let me go and you hold me so close
No matter how hard I protest.
I love you so,
But, let me go!
I'll remember you as I fall down...
But I digress, however hard it is
Not to lament you and my Broken Heart
Broken Heart
And my,
Broken Heart
Just can't seem to heal,
Let me jump!
Away, away, away from you
Let me go!
Let me go...
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Lovely. There's a lyrics section by the way.
Anyway, I loved this song. The way you used words are absolutely beautiful.
Hey nutmegan, welcome to the site! There's actually a forum for lyrics down below.
One of our lovely moderators will move it there soon, no doubt.
Also, the first rule we have here is a 2:1 ratio of reviews to works. So, for every work you have posted, try to have done two reviews, kay? This just makes everything fair, and spreads the love
Skimming, I think it's well-written, though I'm not sure why you capitalized Broken Heart. And the title is good. But I will be happy to do a more indepth review once you get that critique count up!
PM me for anything! And again, welcome to YWS.
xxxxx