One in a Million

This poem is AMAZING. the language, the structure, the way in which you repeated the one in a million. You kept me captivated from the title till the last full stop. My favorite and in my opinion the most effective stanza is.
"He abused her, misused her
Like a stuffed animal, ripped apart by a dog
Her heart and life is in shreds
One in a million"
This creates such a horrible picture in my head and the fact that it did that made me love it. I love it when a piece of writing creates an image and makes me feel something. Whether it's anger, empathy, fear. I think you've mastered that very well. So i'll be looking forward to be reading more of your work. Thank you for sharing this wonderful, yet moving piece.

Hello!!!

I realized you created your own style of lines!!

1- what she is thinking
2- simile comparing what she thought to something
3- more about her thoughts in line 1
4- Repetition(one in a million)

I have to say bravo,very nice dear.

He abused her, misused her

with this abused and misused rhymes. I think it would be better if you changed it up a bit but it still works.

I also realized in stanza 7 line 2, you had a very long line. when you look at the poem it looks out of place.maybe when you edit you could shorten it? with publishing it is not JUST the poem, it is also the presentation. (Don' t feel bad though, I tell you this from experience!)

Now, enough with the heavy, now my favorites:

best stanza: She slowly fades away
Like a ghost, invisible
Her soul is crushed, in pieces
One in a million

best line: Her soul is crushed, in pieces

thanks for writing this so I could read this work of art!! happy writing!!

~Lylas

I like the simple yet impacting metaphors in this poem. Metaphor of sand, of last seeds, of a thread, of trash, of a ghost, of crushed pieces, of a gambler, of the sun, all simple but carrying an easy and deep meaning conveyed perfectly in comparison with this person. My favorite stanza was
"He abandoned her, threw her out
Like the trash on a cold day
Left alone, heartbroken
One in a million"
The addition of "on a cold day" to the trash metaphor was interesting, and the way "Left alone, heartbroken, One in a million" flows in a neat way.
Good work, obvious and meaningful message.

Hello there, Jedi! My name's Rosie, and I'm here to review this piece.

First off, welcome to YWS! I love it here; the experience and critique I've gained since joining are invaluable, and being able to share my ideas with other writers has helped me drastically. There are quite a few amazing, friendly people on here who are always willing to offer advice and criticism; if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me or any of them and we'll help you out in any way we can, okay? Cool. Now, on to the review!

Overall, this is a great piece. You were able to communicate your ideas clearly and get your point across; also, the things you wrote about are things that I identify with and that I'm sure others will as well. I think that everyone knows someone who doesn't realize their own potential, and it's excruciating to see someone you value downplay their own awesomeness. By writing a poem about the subject you did, you're definitely off to a good start.

"She lies in the corner where nobody can see her,
like a grain of sand on a vast beach.
Lonely, broken, abandoned, rejected.
One in a million."

I made a few changes to this stanza. I began by adding a comma to the end of the first line and making appropriate capitalization-related changes. However, I know that punctuation and capitalization is a very touch subject among poets; many develop their own unique style concerning these things or even omit them completely, so please feel free to keep this exactly the way it is. I simply happen to feel that the majority of poems shine the brightest when they're accented by proper punctuation and capitalization. This is my opinion. I'm sure that you have your own.

Aside from what I mentioned in the previous paragraph, it's difficult to find anything wrong with this poem. I enjoyed reading it and found it interesting.

Nice job! Always keep writing!

-Rosie