There are very few moments that I remember perfectly. I mix my memories with dreams or versions that I've changed so the people I'm telling will pity me less. Sometimes, I remember a situation absolutely clearly but I forget what I felt in them, becoming an objective viewer of my own experiences. Whatever the case may be, my memories are usually corrupted, distorted, or faded.
There is one particular moment that I can recall every detail of, right down to the tears drying on my face and my shaking fingers.
I can tell you that it was a clear night, and all the stars were out and twinkling. I can describe how the rough concrete surface of the roof felt under my bare feet. I can even name the temperature of the wind that whipped across my face.
I can explain how utterly hopeless Lorelai sounded as broken sobs fell past her lips.
But no words can ever tell of the desperation that I felt in that very second, as I prayed to every god above that I was just stuck in a nightmare.
And I was. But I was also wide awake.