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The Legend of γάτα

by KatGirl


She told her kit of a place beyond, a place they never could feel under their paws; a place so alluring and beautiful and compelling that it is forbidden to even dream of it. Land that was so menacing and savage that it was forbidden.

"It can fool you, my kit. it may look like an elegant paradise, but it is only a place of trickery. Dangerous creatures lurk in the shadows, hatred fortifying the beasts,"

The snowy white kit with one azure eye and one that shone gold looked up at her mother, crestfallen.

"I want to explore the unknown," the kit paused, "why is it  forbidden?" The tawny mother cat looked mournfully down at γάτα, her kit.

"The world we live in is a place of dread and trickery, γάτα, that we must not tread in, or the  world will fall beneath our paws, or perhaps the beasts will take us," she tilted her head, craning her ears back.

γάτα dropped her gaze to her paws, hanging her head low, tears glazing her eyes. "We were meant for the wild," she mewled.

The Ημητέρα-γάτα sighed, looking forlornly at her grieving kit.

Απογυμνωμένο δόντια , οδοντωτό νύχια , ζοφερή γνώση του άγριου το φευγαλέο γάτα μέσα , recited the young kit in her mind.

(Bared teeth, jagged claws, grim knowledge of the wild-the stealthy cat within.)

"Mother, don't you know of the omen of the Cat? Isn't that our destiny?" the young kit asked, her tiny voice wavering as she spoke.

The young kit's snowy pelt was illuminated in the exaggerated moonlight that crept into the cave.

Ημητέρα-γάτα closed her eyes, visioning the time when χάνεται had wondered off into the mythical lands, unaware of the danger of concealed beauty.

"Do you not remember χάνεται? Your brother, the Lost One?" the mother-cat whispered, her voice lost in the wailing wind that grieved for him, too.

The kit looked away for a second, ashamed for even thinking of the beyond, the unknown, but she still felt a fiery desire to hunt and chase in the wild.

"He had no knowledge of the depths of the wild, it's layers of trickery," the snowy-kit replied, assuring her mother.

The snowy-kit gazed at her mother, watching her as she shook her head silently. "But mom, don't you remember the Clan?" γάτα meowed desperately.

Ημητέρα-γάτα gazed at her kit with her piercing amber eyes, yet her face was a stony mask.

"I give up, γάτα , if you must expeirence the cruel way of the unknown, then so be it," she got up from her paws and traipsed out of the cave, her tail swishing in restricted fury.

The young kit followed, her emotions mixed-was it a bad idea after all? As they came out of the gaping cave-mouth, there lay the world beyond.

Lush cherry-blossom trees swaying in the wind, jagged mountains covered in snow, a never-ending blue that covered the roof of nature.

"What is that blue roof up there?" asked γάτα in wonder. Mother-cat gazed at her kit, her eyes warming up in pleasure.

"It is called a sky, a place that never ends, where all creatures take the Path," she explained.

The young kit bounded around, scanning the never-ending terrain in the distance, an amazing view from where she stood on the cliff.

A burning sphere lay in the thing called the sky, shining warmth over the kit. "Mother-cat, what is that yellow circle in the sky?" asked γάτα, as she gaped at it.

"It is a sun," she replied.

γάτα wondered around the cave, wondering how she could reach the distance of nature. "Mother-cat, how do we travel to the distance?" the kit asked in confusion.

She heard her mother sigh in frustration. "My kit, we can't reach the beyond, we are trapped on this cliff. You see, γάτα, your brother.. he fell off of the cliff. It is one of the ways nature is so cruel; because sometimes it can trap you."

The young kit gasped and began to wail as she heard this news. "I want to go back into the cave!" she sobbed.

Mother-cat padded over towards her wailing kit, closing her eyes, struggling to contain her tears. "There is one way, and one way only-the stars," she faintly whispered, "that is why we cannot eat the delicacy of prey and hunt, and enjoy freedom,"

She closed her eyes, wishing that the world was not so cruel, that her brother was still here. What point is there living if you can't be the animal are, and on top of that, loose the one you love most?

"The stars, the stars, the stars.." the young kit chanted in a trance-like way.

"We will go to the stars, someday.. but it is not our time yet,"

"I want to go to the stars now!" she yowled.

The young kit began to think of ways to go to the Path. She was defying her mother, the young kit knew it, but how else would she be able to hunt.. and wander free?

She gazed at her mother with tears in her eyes. "Goodbye," γάτα whispered as she prepared to jump of the cliff. She'd meet her brother again..

The mother-cat tilted, her head confused, than reality told her exactly what was happening. "NO!" she shrieked with grief, "PLEASE!" she yowled. γάτα looked at her mother with tears glistening in her eyes. "What point is there to live.. if you don't even feel like your living? I love you mother," she whispered.

goodbye...

The young kit flung itself over the cliff, her mother-cat's yowls echoing behind her. She wailed and whimpered herself, feeling the rushing air herself and the ground and dirt coming closer and closer...

"GOODBYE! MOOOOMMMMMM!" the young kit wailed at the top of her lungs, tears rolling down her face, even though she knew it was now her fate, and she could not change it.

It'll be okay, you'll see your brother, right? reassured a voice in her head. The kit looked up at the cliff, seeing a tawny shape falling too.

no, no, no, no...

"I LOVE YOU!" the kit screeched with her remaining strength. She heard a faint voice call back to her, too.

A hard thump was all γάτα could feel. She was dimly aware of milky scented fur near her as she nestled into the bundle of warmth.

THE PATH

free, free at last with brother and mother! exclaimed a voice. The young kit opened her eyes, joy flowing through her, as she stood by mother, awaiting the starry sky.

"Oh mother, let us hunt and run with brother!" γάτα padded over to mother, awaiting her mother's tongue to lap over her-and it did.

"Yes, kit," mother paused between licks, "at last we may see brother and we may explore nature without it's cruel ways,"

"Let us go, mother!" yelled the giddy kit. Mother-cat looked at her with warm, pleasing eyes as she laughed at her kit. They bounded into the starry sky, looking for brother in the depths of the night.

"Brother, brother!" said γάτα as she saw him preying upon a grey mouse. χάνεται turned, startled by her voice. He laughed as he saw mother and his sister. "Oh you've came, you've came!" he yelled at the top of his lungs with happiness, laughing.

He licked his sister's pelt in greeting and nestled into his mother's pelt. And so they lived in the stars, hunting and sprinting and exploring nature without it's cruel ways.

Greek Translation

γάτα- cat

χάνεται- lost

Ημητέρα-γάτα - mother-cat


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126 Reviews


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Wed May 24, 2017 6:53 am
Aleta wrote a review...



This is a very interesting story, and I love it. I, myself, love to write legends like these. However, I have a slight problem. There seems to be no thought or reason in how you formatted this. Did you have a reason to format it like this? I think it's rather distracting. I thought it was an epic at first, but I quickly found that I was wrong. Would you care to explain?

"The world we live in is a place of dread and trickery, γάτα, that we must not tread in our the world will fall beneath our paws, or perhaps the beasts will take us," she tilted her head, craning her ears back.
I found this a little confusing. I think you may be missing a word or two. Go re read it.

Like I said, this is a very interesting story and I really like it. Keep up the great work.




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Sun Oct 26, 2014 1:20 pm
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ThereseCricket wrote a review...



Hi! Cricket here as requested!

Sorry, I arrived later than I had expected. Life got in the way, but I am here now! Also, I'm glad to see that the formatting is fixed now. When I first looked at it, I was going to be inquiring about that issue, but now that it is fixed, I won't be. :D

Well first things first... even if I hadn't been told that this about a cat, I would have gotten the impression that this was told from the viewpoint of some sort of cat at one point or the other. It had little subtle hints just dropped everywhere, and I knew from the very beginning-even without the name cat-that this was indeed told by a cat. Hints such as, place that they would never feel under their paws and the like. Very nicely done.

However, there are quite a few spots were you have forgotten words, and also... one thing that I would like to go into, right here.

Land that was so menacing and savage that it was forbidden.

"It can fool you, my kit. it may look like an elegant paradise, but it is only a place of trickery. Dangerous creatures lurk in the shadows, hatred fortifying the beasts,"

The snowy white kit with one azure eye and one that shone gold looked up at her mother, her eyes crestfallen.

"I want to explore the unknown," the kit paused, "why is it forbidden?"

The tawny mother cat looked mournfully down at γάτα, her kit.


Apologies for cutting so much out, but I felt it was necessary. Here I've noticed that you seem to have formatted your dialogue and description to be exactly one right after the other. Like description, dialogue, more description, more dialogue, and so on. It seemed to be structured like that the entire way through! No offense, but it got a little old and it was just too uniform for my tastes. I'd suggest trying to build up on the description part of it, and try and add some feeling to it.

For instance, I wasn't feeling this cat's longing to see her brother. Rather, I was thinking of how dumb cats are. xD I mean, I have a cat and I love her dearly, but this didn't make me feel like this cat was somehow special or cats are somehow different than what people normally think of them. Dumb ol' cat jumping off a cliff. :P I'd suggest building up some thought in this. Try and expand on the cat's thoughts and feelings.So it wouldn't be a bad idea, when/if you make this longer, you perhaps lengthen it up with some of that. Would help with making this literary work seem fuller and have more meat to it. :D

a place so alluring and beautiful and compelling that it is forbidden to even dream of it.


Unnecessary word there.

She told her kit of a place beyond, a place they never could feel under their paws; a place so alluring and beautiful and compelling that it is forbidden to even dream of it.

Land that was so menacing and savage that it was forbidden.


Seeing as these two paragraphs are talking about the same thing, you should place them together as one paragraph. A paragraph equals a single idea, so if two paragraphs are directly next to each other but are the same idea, then they should really be one. Make sense?

The snowy white kit with one azure eye and one that shone gold looked up at her mother, her eyes crestfallen.


I would somehow find a way to get rid of one of those eyes. Right now, it just seems rather redundant.

The world we live in is a place of dread and trickery, γάτα, that we must not tread in, or the world will fall beneath our paws, or perhaps the beasts will take us," she tilted her head, craning her ears back.


This is one thing that was getting on my nerves a bit... when going into a dialogue tag, it's well... a dialogue tag! Not some description or action. So you can always do it like this... The world we live in is a place of dread and trickery, γάτα, that we must not tread in, or the world will fall beneath our paws, or perhaps the beasts will take us," she said, tilting her head, craning her ears back. See what I mean? You have a legitimate dialogue tag, and you still have your description in there. There's a few more spots like this, but I'll leave that up to you to find them. :D

"The stars, the stars, the stars.." the young kit chanted in a trance-like way.


I have basically no problem here, with this particular line, but I did have a problem with how quickly it took place. See before, in the young kit's last bit of dialogue, it had been crying. Now all of a sudden, it's chanting! What about how it's sad and stuff? We need some bit of a reminder or something to help us still get the feeling that the kit was crying, or was at least upset. Even though it's a story told from a cat's point of view, it still shouldn't have the MC's feelings jumping around, and having no real root.

"We will go to the stars, sometime.. but it is not our time yet,"


Too much time here. :P How about replace sometime with someday? One way to avoid redundancy, is to just read it aloud to yourself. The redundant or overused words will stick out then and you'll be able to correct them.


Overall, I did enjoy this piece as it gave me a nice solid grounding in some of the Greek Myths and the Greek words handed off a nice touch I thought. Your writing style for this piece, I wasn't exactly sure about but I do know that with a little more practice you'll be able to have that style that just reeks of mythology. :P

OK, that's it from me! This was an excellent piece of work, and with a bit more work it will be a masterpiece!

Keep writing!

~Cricket




KatGirl says...


Thanks!



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Sun Oct 26, 2014 4:43 am
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niteowl wrote a review...



Hi there KatGirl! Niteowl here to review this story for the Wicked Squids this fine Review Day!

Now, overall I think this is an interesting story. It feels like the legends of the constellations, which is why I think you included the random Greek in there. However, I didn't really think that was the best choice for this story. Greek is a confusing language to read/understand, and this story had no real connection to Greek culture, so the few random words confused more than they added to the story. Who would name their child "human", for example. (Side note: Η μητέρα is two words, H being an article). I would seriously consider just keeping everything in English.

"He had no knowledge of the depths of the wild, it's layers of trickery,"


Minor grammar point here, its doesn't have an apostrophe in this case since it's a possessive. I think you did this in a couple other places too. A good trick to keep it straight is to ask if "it is" would make sense in the sentence. If so, "it's" is correct, but if not, it should be "its".

Overall, this was a good story. Keep writing! :)




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Sat Oct 25, 2014 1:19 pm
ulala8 wrote a review...



This is a very interesting story, and I love it. I, myself, love to write legends like these. However, I have a slight problem. There seems to be no thought or reason in how you formatted this. Did you have a reason to format it like this? I think it's rather distracting. I thought it was an epic at first, but I quickly found that I was wrong. Would you care to explain?

"The world we live in is a place of dread and trickery, γάτα, that we must not tread in our the world will fall beneath our paws, or perhaps the beasts will take us," she tilted her head, craning her ears back.
I found this a little confusing. I think you may be missing a word or two. Go re read it.

Like I said, this is a very interesting story and I really like it. Keep up the great work.




KatGirl says...


Oops.. lol I meant to put "or" instead. Thanks for catching that for me! I do need to fix the format (when I was starting to get the idea of it, I thought I should do it as a poem)



ulala8 says...


I agree! I think you should learn how to write an epic! They're really hard to do, but there are such great epics as the Odyssey. It'd be cool to have someone do something like that.



KatGirl says...


I can try lol




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