Zindagi Mil Gayi

Hi there!

I don't know Hindi, but @Arcticus was kind enough to provide a translation of your poem for me in English so I could give you some feedback! I hope you'll get some feedback from some readers of Hindi who are better positioned to give you feedback on the original, especially since I'm sure there are probably things you can express in Hindi that can't be expressed in English, or at least not in the same way. For now, I hope you'll find my review helpful anyway!

First of all, here's Arc's translation, so you can see what I'm working with.

Zindagi Mil Gayi (or, I Found Life)

Iss raat ki aarzoo kabse lagayi thi
(I've waited for tonight for so long)

Din ke ujaale mein jab tune sanse churai thi
(You took away my breath in broad daylight)

Khuda ki ibadat mein hath zaroor uthaye humne
(I did raise my hands in prayer to God)

Lekin honto par aapse Milne ki khwahish jatayi thi
(But my only wish was to meet you)

Teri bahon mein mujhe zindagi mil gayi
(In your arms, I found life.)

Meri takdeer Teri kismat se judh gayi
(My destiny is tied to yours now)

Aaj Jana ki mohobatt khoobsoorat hai
(Today I learned how beautiful love is)

Tere aane se main aur Haseen ho gayi
(I've become more beautiful since I came to know you)

Woh pehli mulakat ka safar aaj bhi yaad h mujhe
(I remember that first walk of our first meeting, to this day)

Door se dekh kar chahne lagi thi tujhe
(I had started to fall for you, from afar)

Nazarein jo mili lafzon ki kami padh gayi
(When our eyes met, words fell short)

Teri bahon mein mujhe zindagi mil gayi
(In your arms, I found life.)

Tjhko Khone ka khayaal jab dil mein aaya
(When the thought of losing you crossed my mind)

Aankhe bandh karke tujhko khwaabon mein paya
(With eyes closed, I found you in my dreams)

Tera chehra mere kareeb aaya
(Your face drew closer)

Chhupkr kaano mein tune gun gunaya
(You whispered softly into my ear)

Honto ko chukar mujhe inayat mil gayi
(Having touched your lips, I felt blessed)

Teri bahon mein mujhe zindagi mil gayi
(In your arms, I found life.)

I love the refrain, "teri bahon mein mujhe zindagi mil gayi / in your arms, I found life." It's simple and sweet but paints a picture of a life-changing relationship in a single line.

Overall, the poem tends toward an idealized version of romantic love. It seems like something you could use for wedding vows or as a reading or song at a wedding. In particular, the first line, "iss raat ki aarzoo kabse lagayi thi / I've waited for tonight for so long," makes me think of the wedding night, although it doesn't necessarily have to refer to that. The lines "khuda ki ibadat mein hath zaroor uthaye humne / I did raise my hands in prayer to God" and "meri takdeer Teri kismat se judh gayi / my destiny is tied to yours now" also make it feel that way, because there is the sense that God or fate brought this couple together. This ties into the otherworldly feeling of the romance, which comes from the way it's spoken about, as if it's almost a dream.

I also like the line "Tere aane se main aur Haseen ho gayi / I've become more beautiful since I came to know you," because I like the idea that love improves the people in a relationship. Which I think is what actually happens in a good, healthy relationship.

The only line that confuses me a little is "Tjhko Khone ka khayaal jab dil mein aaya
/ When the thought of losing you crossed my mind," which is because it seems disconnected from the rest of the poem. Like I could infer a connection, based on the dreamlike quality of the romance and the way it completes the speaker - surely the thought of losing her lover would distress her beyond measure. But you go from this line into a dream where the speaker sees, hears, and kisses her lover. Which I guess could maybe be what happens when she thinks of losing her lover? Or even if she loses them, she wouldn't really lose them, because she'd find him in her dreams? But if that's the case, the connection is a little muddy and could some clearing up.

Overall, however, a lovely poem. Thanks for posting!

Young Writers Society

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